Passion is the biggest enemy of depression

[Rafterman]

What are you passionate about? What is it that you wake up for every day? Every one of us has something that drives our lives. We may not even be aware of what it is, or we may be very aware. There is something that gives each of us a sense of purpose and makes us want to be alive. It is different for everyone. We should all try to focus in on, and identify, our passions. Scrutinize each one of them. Are they constructive in nature? Are they harmful to us? Weed out the bad ones and keep the good.  Then embrace, exploit, and expand the ones which you are left with. Know that a sense of purpose (and passion) is the enemy of depression. A person of passion is on a mission. Keep your eyes on your passions and enjoy satisfying them. Don't be afraid to let others know what you are passionate about. Sharing those details make others more likely to embrace their own passions. And nothing is too "unusual". There are no right or wrong answers. Its about feeling. Its about personal preference.

Allow me to go first. I must say that my passions are fairly pedestrian, but they are what keep me going. I'll list three, of many.

1. My wife. I have been with my wife for 40 years now. I can't even imagine what we would do without each other. We are as one. I am completely emotionally over-invested in her and loving every minute of it.

2. Animals. I am an extreme animal lover. I mean completely over the top. I love animals at a higher level than most people love people. Their loyalty, goodness, beauty, and selflessness. Everything about them. I could not live in this world if animals did not exist in it.

3. Music. Music has been my companion, my confidant and my counselor since childhood. It has the distinction of being both a diversion from the rigors of life, while simultaneously being an indulgence in life itself. Nothing else quite like it.


Does anyone care to go next? What is it that keeps you going?  Thanks, everyone.

[Naomi]

This is something I really struggle with. In Acceptance and Commitment therapy the therapist keeps asking a similar question and my response has been "what if it's nothing?". I feel like I remember have hobbies and interests and now I just float through life existing. Only getting out of bed (on the days I do) to work to make money to pay bills. I'm really trying to find that thing that makes me happy, that I look forward to, get out of bed for - but currently I don't know what that could be.

[Rafterman]

This is something I really struggle with. In Acceptance and Commitment therapy the therapist keeps asking a similar question and my response has been "what if it's nothing?". I feel like I remember have hobbies and interests and now I just float through life existing. Only getting out of bed (on the days I do) to work to make money to pay bills. I'm really trying to find that thing that makes me happy, that I look forward to, get out of bed for - but currently I don't know what that could be.

Hi Naomi,
Sometimes people really do not know what is it that motivates them to continue living, but it is always something. It can be difficult to get in touch with what it is. Dr Claire Weekes, who was probably the best psychotherapist who ever lived, used to teach that life is just a person jumping from one simple motivator to the next. The motivators could be as small as looking forward to their next meal, or to playing with their dog. A persons mind knows what it has lined up that it is looking forward to, even if you don't know it on the conscious level. In fact, right now as you are reading this, your mind is looking forward to something. That is what gives you the ability to move forward. Can you think of what it might be? Food, sleep, a phone call, something involving a significant other? It doesn't have to be something huge. As Dr Weekes was trying to say, it is usually a string of simple pleasures that gets a person through. Check back and lets see what others post. Thanks for contributing and I hope you will be able to get in touch with some of your overlooked motivators. Please post them, if you do, and if you care to share.  Have a great day.  RM

[Naomi]

I was told that financial stability counts, so I guess getting up to work and pay my bills counts - but that is a sad (to me) reason to get out of bed. I definitely want passion in my life. I'm doing the therapy, doing the groups, reading what I can in my free time. I really want it, but it seems everything I try, isn't it. It'll work to fill the void for a while, but eventually stops working. I just have to hope I'll find it eventually because hope is basically what I'm left with.

[Rafterman]

I was told that financial stability counts, so I guess getting up to work and pay my bills counts - but that is a sad (to me) reason to get out of bed. I definitely want passion in my life. I'm doing the therapy, doing the groups, reading what I can in my free time. I really want it, but it seems everything I try, isn't it. It'll work to fill the void for a while, but eventually stops working. I just have to hope I'll find it eventually because hope is basically what I'm left with.

I completely understand what you are saying. You are going about things the correct way. Don't overlook the simple pleasures that motivate you. They might not seem like much while you are trying to attain real passion, but they are what's getting you by in the meantime. Think of them often and imagine how it would be like without them. For instance, if you still enjoy eating...number eating as one of your simple pleasures. If you still enjoy sleeping, think about how it feels to be comfortably  laying in bed and number that as one of your pleasures. If you have pets and enjoy their company, that would be another one. Anything that you enjoy...even the smell of the air outside, driving, exercising, television, music...anything. The trick is to dig up ones that you may be overlooking, embrace them and build upon them. The bigger ones will come. You are on the right track for now. Just hang in there.  RM

[Rafterman]

Thank you for the continued support. I do try to appreciate things like watching tv, driving, shopping, etc, but I'm still just waiting for something bigger. Something more fulfilling. I feel like I need to play a game of hobby roulette until I find something that sticks, haha.

You are welcome, Naomi. I totally understand what you are saying. I am very happy to hear that you still enjoy the basic pleasures of life. This is a much better starting point than some people whom I have known who can no longer enjoy even those. You are stuck in a place that is more common than you would think. I think that a good portion of the population are right where you are. A time will come where you will reach that level of greater fulfillment. It is a process, though.   RM

[Naomi]

I just started DBT this week (finally - been waiting six months to get into a group) and I have high hopes considering the praise this treatment receives. If I can't be happy, I'll take being content. Six months of treatment to go, can't wait to see what happens.

[Rafterman]

I just started DBT this week (finally - been waiting six months to get into a group) and I have high hopes considering the praise this treatment receives. If I can't be happy, I'll take being content. Six months of treatment to go, can't wait to see what happens.

Naomi!
I think that DBT was a great choice. I am so psyched for you. It not only can help you build a better life, it can make you content with the life you have as you do so. (Like the old proverb, and Sheryl Crow, say.."Its not having what you want, its wanting what you got".) I like the way that therapy lays out. Its enjoyable, very interactive and social. Can really help with things like mindfulness. Are you doing the online version or in person?

[Naomi]

I just started DBT this week (finally - been waiting six months to get into a group) and I have high hopes considering the praise this treatment receives. If I can't be happy, I'll take being content. Six months of treatment to go, can't wait to see what happens.

Naomi!
I think that DBT was a great choice. I am so psyched for you. It not only can help you build a better life, it can make you content with the life you have as you do so. (Like the old proverb, and Sheryl Crow, say.."Its not having what you want, its wanting what you got".) I like the way that therapy lays out. Its enjoyable, very interactive and social. Can really help with things like mindfulness. Are you doing the online version or in person?

I'm doing an in person group. It is nice to be around people who "get it". Mindfulness is something I'm awful at. I did a Mindfulness group for a while and I'd always end up crying, so I stopped going. A person in my DBT group suggested not fully closing my eyes and just doing a downward gaze instead. I'm going to give that a shot once we get into the mindfulness module.

[Rafterman]

I just started DBT this week (finally - been waiting six months to get into a group) and I have high hopes considering the praise this treatment receives. If I can't be happy, I'll take being content. Six months of treatment to go, can't wait to see what happens.

Naomi!
I think that DBT was a great choice. I am so psyched for you. It not only can help you build a better life, it can make you content with the life you have as you do so. (Like the old proverb, and Sheryl Crow, say.."Its not having what you want, its wanting what you got".) I like the way that therapy lays out. Its enjoyable, very interactive and social. Can really help with things like mindfulness. Are you doing the online version or in person?

I'm doing an in person group. It is nice to be around people who "get it". Mindfulness is something I'm awful at. I did a Mindfulness group for a while and I'd always end up crying, so I stopped going. A person in my DBT group suggested not fully closing my eyes and just doing a downward gaze instead. I'm going to give that a shot once we get into the mindfulness module.

Great to hear. I think that the mindfulness teaching is probably the most valuable part of DBT. I have never been involved in DBT, but have friends who have. They say that the mindfulness training  can be unnerving at first, but that you will grow to value them the most of all the things that DBT shows you. They say it helps merge the reasonable and emotional parts of the mind. I know that you see it through and wish you the best.