(12-05-2019, 08:21 PM)flounder Wrote: Wow, thank you Barq, while and old one your post really resonated with me and my situation. SSRIs are having to many side effects for me to deal with and trying to manage low doses on benzos to help manage my anxiety in a high functioning life and high performing career. I’m earlier in my journey but they just work so well, so taking very low amount and hopefully they don’t lose their effectiveness. I’m seeking counselling as well as seeing a psych who can prescribe.
So are you in a similar position? I found SSRIs made me so restless like I wanted to jump out of my own skin. There was one in particular that really made me quite psychotic (even 20 years later it still embarrasses me what I did while on that SSRI). In the end I just had to stop taking it and within a day or so was back to my normal self - anxious but certainly not psychotic!
It takes a lot of self control to keep the benzo level low enough for a high functioning career. I'm struggling a bit with memory, but it could be some painkillers I'm currently prescribed. Anyway I have started taking turmeric pills since research shows they help cognition in people taking benzos.
I get the impression that the people who lose effectiveness the quickest are those who binge on their pills. I can't remember where I first heard that, but my golden rule was never to exceed the prescribed amount. Even now that a change of doctor (and government policy where I live) means I'm no longer prescribed, I still use them as responsibly as possible. It takes some will power on a bad day since I could take as much as I wanted. Also I won't deny that my tolerance has crept up a bit, but it's pretty good for nearly 15 years of continual use. I was prescribed 3 x 5mg diazepam a day, now I'm on 20mg. Maybe I've just been lucky it still works.
I hope you are able to carry on with a low dose and don't need to increase it. Aside from the physical effects of benzos as drugs, I think there is a massive psychological dimension in knowing you've taken this thing that you know from experience will ease your anxiety. In my case as soon as I taste the pill my anxiety decreases, that's despite the fact I cannot have absorbed any of it yet - there is no way it is acting on my brain 2 seconds after I put a pill in my mouth! Yet it feels as though it is working, so my brain must be anticipating the effect from the taste alone. Odd as it may seem I now snap my pills in two so that I taste more of it (or can taste it morning and evening), and that seems to help.
Good luck with your therapy. Counselling can be so useful - if nothing else you can offload all your stress without feeling bad, like you might if it was a friend.