Supreme Court Justice Roberts plugs ears, yells
‘I can’t hear you’ in response to election fraud cases








(WASHINGTON, DC)
—
The highest court in the United States has rejected the last legal contest to the widespread
election fraud in the 2020 presidential election and called “triple stamp, no erasies,
touch blue made it true.”

“The petitions for writs of mandamus are denied,” the court said Monday.
“This is triple stamped, no erasies, and multiple justices have touched blue made it true.”

The triple stamp followed Sidney Powell’s double stamp after the Justice Roberts called “quitsies”
on previous cases.

Attorney Sidney Powell called anti-quitsies and no startsies, which led to the double stamp
from Roberts.

Some have called into question the validity of triple stamping a double stamp, but Justice Roberts
dismissed the argument by putting his fingers in his ears and saying, “La la la la la la la la la!”

Clearly, this has ended all discussion of the perfectly legitimate 2020 presidential election.
There should be no doubt in your mind that Joe Biden got the most votes of any politician
in the history of the world.

Biden gets largest crowd ever
at border rally!







(CNN)
-
President Joe Biden must be getting really popular.
Everyone must love his long list of executive orders and new wars in the
Middle East.

Biden hasn’t been president very long and he just got his largest crowd
ever—dozens of people—at a Biden rally in Mexico.

Former President Trump may get thousands of people at rallies and millions
of viewers online, but Biden is starting to catch up in popularity.

All of the president’s fans and many of his voters lined up for miles heading
toward the US/Mexico border this past week with Biden shirts.

“It’s a festival atmosphere here,” Mexico correspondent José Cuervo said.
“Biden’s fan base is really growing here and the promise to vote for him three
or four times next election if he lets them in.”

The previous record for a Biden rally was 15, though the Biden boat parades
were much more popular.

White House demands removal of
offensive new Dr. Seuss books






(WASHINGTON, DC[)
—
White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books
to replace the old offensive Dr. Seuss books the administration had canceled yesterday.

The new titles are “Sneetches Get Steetches,” “How Biden Stole the Election 2020,”
and “Horton Hears a Whore!”.

The White House is demanding that the Dr. Seuss estate cease and desist of all publication
of the offensive content.

“You can bring back the racist stuff from the 1940s,” White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said.
“Just please don’t publish this horribly offensive new material.”

The publisher wants to keep the new titles.

“Many thought that the removal of six Seuss books was to gain points with the woke cancel culture,
but really it was to make room for our new titles,” Seuss Enterprise CEO Mr. Tweedle Beetle said.

Excerpt from the Cat in the Hat remake:

I couldn't help but laugh...
But this is more alarming than funny...

BREAKING:
White House schedules Biden’s first
State of the Union speech
for shortly after he dies







(WASHINGTON, DC)
—
The White House has scheduled President Biden’s first State of the Union speech
to be delivered to a joint session of Congress shortly after Biden dies.

“People have been asking and asking about the State of the Union, White House
Press Secretary Jen Psaki said. “When’s the president going to speak to reporters?
When is he going to hold a press conference? Is he conscious for more than 10 minutes a day?
Well, we thought you’d all be very impressed that we have scheduled the State of the Union address.”

While it is not necessary for a president to address Congress after he takes office or even to
be of sound mind at any point in his presidency, but the White House has gone above and
beyond to make Biden available to the the press and to the nation.

When asked for a specific date, Psaki clarified.

“I’m going to have to circle back to you on the exact date, but we do know he will be giving
the speech sometime after his death,” Psaki said.

Traditionally, the State of the Union Address is given in the last week of January or the
first week of February. The joint session address comes around the same time, but
can go as late as the last week of February.