Thank you Kona. I know that he knows I love him, and he loves me.
I think he gets frustrated because he lost his job several years ago, and I am the earner in the family. He does freelance work, but it's not the money he was used to earning. I think he feels like he has somehow lost his standing or respect. I do my best to be easygoing and understanding.
It gets especially hard around the holidays. I think he thinks that unless he is spending money on me that he has failed somehow. I do like nice things, but I also had the wherewithall to buy these for myself -- before he and I ever met, and that has not changed.
Hopefully, he will settle down tomorrow while we have a nice relaxing day at home.
(11-26-2015, 03:31 AM)Kittycat Wrote: [ -> ]Aww, Roses, that is tough, especially when it is far away. Is he your only child? Â Some days, I feel she is my reason for being, so I can't even think about that. I really feel for you...
Hi Kittycat. Â Thank you for understanding why I am so upset. Â I also have one more son who is 30. Â Thankfully, he lives nearby & he is settling in & making his own life. Â He & his girlfriend are expecting a son in Jan so he is making me a grandma for the first time. Â I'm looking forward to the baby.
So I was hoping that my husband would settle down -- but my hopes were not fulfilled. I know he is in pain, and I try to help him with that as much as I can by shorting my own pain pills so he can have some relief. I would of course deny it under oath, but I cannot watch him suffer when his current doctors won't treat his pain, and do nothing.
Despite this, he has been cranky, angry, ornery, whatever you want to call it. My nerves are frayed, and I really hope he lets up soon. It is so hard sometimes to keep turning the other cheek. Maybe this is a spiritual test?!
In any case, this is a major source of my stress, but probably the only major source -- except that I have an outpatient surgery coming up in a week. I am getting another nerve ablation done in my back. The good news is that I don't have to do all the epidurals and facet injections like I had to do before -- they can just go straight to the ablation, but only one side at a time. I will miss a day off of work, and then when the nerve dies, it will hurt a lot too. I hope I will be able to keep sparing the pain pills once my nerve dying process goes underway. It's a weird, unrelenting kind of pain. Last time I had this, my dr. had to increase my dosage and frequency of Percoset, so I guess I will just play it by ear.
(11-28-2015, 02:07 PM)FirePlaces Wrote: [ -> ]Bummer on all fronts Shayna. Â
What were the stats on the nerve ablation for you? Meaning 2 months of increased pain for 4 months of relief for example. Â
Also maybe doing one at a time will be better for you but will drag out the painful healing part.
Maybe confirm with your doc that if needed he will script you at a higher level if necessary while the nerves heal.
Any progress on DH scheduling his hip replacement?
No progress on scheduling his, and I may wait on my ablation till end of January. Â I have a big work project I want to do well on, and I don't know if I can with increased pain.
Right now he is going through deep depression over his diabetes. Â He fasts and then his sugar soars, probably from lack of food. Â He is very frustrated and sad, and I can't help but be affected by his moods.
I am having a real difficult day with my husband. He has been on this nonstop cycle of: self pity and loathing, then anger and lashing out at me, either passive aggressive or directly.
I told him I just can't take it anymore. I am starting to dread holidays and weekends with him. I am sitting outside in my car, because I don't want to be in the house with more of the same.
(11-28-2015, 10:19 PM)Shayna Wrote: [ -> ]I am having a real difficult day with my husband. He has been on this nonstop cycle of: Â self pity and loathing, then anger and lashing out at me, either passive aggressive or directly.
I told him I just can't take it anymore. Â I am starting to dread holidays and weekends with him. Â I am sitting outside in my car, because I don't want to be in the house with more of the same.
Shayna I am sorry to hear this is happening to you.Â
I already do dread the holidays, so I cannot be helpful in a way to prevent you thinking that only to say to you that I understand....why someone can.
You have really had a tough time with DH . You cannot take on his stuff as yours and he needs to own up to doing something to change his predicament....it seems to me as I think out-loud with you about this.
I know you say he is in pain and then it makes him go through these cycles....Gosh what a mess for you, I am so sorry about that.
He fasts when his blood sugar is high, thinking that will lower it.
I did some reading on this, and told him it has the opposite effect, but he still does it.
Today, things are a bit better, but I still feel anxious. We got our errands done and made a trip to Costco. He started getting crabby, but I am hoping we will both get something to eat and continue to have a decent day. It's just after 3 days in a row of getting lashed out at, I am very gun shy.
Thanks, FP, that is exactly what happens as I get very anxious, waiting for the other shoe to drop!
He is on different diabetes meds than me, because of my sulfa allergy, but he takes Metformin and a new one that he just got. I take Metformin and Januvia.
He gets so discouraged that he just tells himself he doesn't deserve to eat and fears food. The reading I was doing explained that fasting releases glycogen from the liver, which raises the blood sugar because the body is starving. Also, glycogen blood sugar highs are much more resistant to coming down than high blood sugar from food. So fasting is really, really bad for blood sugar stabilization.
However, today he had a fasting blood sugar of 84, from this afternoon, and earlier in the day we had some spanoktipita. Progress!!
Harley, yes our dr.s told us to monitor at least twice a day.
I have tried to explain to him the negative effects of fasting, but he doesn't seem to listen. I am even showing him patterns of how he tested normal after a short fast then rose 50 points after continuing to fast.
It is frustrating and painful to endure this with him. Since he won't listen to me, I hope that he will listen to the endocrinologit's in January. That's the earliest appointment I could get us.
Harley, that's a great idea, it really is. Unfortunately, I don't think he will be open to this, but I can try.
It's just, if he has gigs to do, he says that he doesn't deserve to eat until his work is finished. My opinion is that is counterproductive and unhealthy. I just feel like he is not believing whatever I tell him.