(11-08-2017, 09:58 AM)Rafterman Wrote: [ -> ]I posted earlier about experiencing "tolerance withdrawals" while using C-Pam for a 12 year period. My symptoms were primarily neurological, in nature. Plenty of "brain zaps". That feeling of electrical current that you feel popping and snapping in your head. Way worse when you move your eyes from left to right. I also have dealt with auditory hallucinations from time to time. Those just sound like a bang, or a quick, loud yell. The thing with them is that they can really because a nuisance because there is absolutely nothing you can do about them. Can't cover your ears...the sounds are coming from inside your head. Both things are pretty commonly seen during conventional benzo withdrawal. I think that I was pretty lucky because I have seen people have a much harder go of it when withdrawing..even when withdrawing from a long-actor like C-Pam. What have been your experiences when withdrawing from benzo's? Anyone else get those neurological disturbances? Just curious, if you care to share. Thanks.
Good evening Rafterman,
"Neurological disturbances" is a very kind way to put these symptoms. Granted, my seventeen years of prescribed @lprazol@m (1mg, 2x / day (for two years), then 1mg, 3x / day for fifteen years) was necessary due to the severity of my GAD, but by the time I found that longer lasting meds such as di@zep@m and clon@zep@m were readily available and commonly prescribed, my psychiatrist was dead set against changing my meds. Ironically, he had no compunction about leaving me to fend for myself "cold turkey" when my insurance went the way of my employment, even going so far as to hand me a brochure with his prices for non-insured patients and asking me to make an appointment with his receptionist. When I explained that I planned to spend every penny I could spare on making mortgage payments and keeping basic utilities on, given I had (and have, until the DOL starts making abysmal UI payments on a weekly basis) no income whatsoever, his response (loosely quoted, this was in mid-September 2017 and my brain cells aren't what they used to be) was "Well, you have ten minutes left for your scheduled appointment, you could use it to try to convince me to write you @tiv@n, di@zep@m, or clon@zepam, but you'll just be wasting your time and mine, I don't prescribe those."
The "zaps" started around my fifth day of "cold turkey" withdrawal from @lpr@zolam, and on my ninth day, I was paralyzed by fear of going in public, drenched with sweat, hands shaking, and experiencing a very painful headache on the left rear of my head. I called the psychiatrist's office and spoke to a different doctor who had quite obviously read my dictionary-sized charts (my former doctor was on vacation, skiing in Austria) to explain the symptoms I was experiencing and the many years I had been prescribed the same medication. With no sympathy at all in his voice he told me that neither he nor my doctor believed in the Ashton method for tapering, and that if I would like to try a taper with @lpr@zolam, I could come to the office, pay $250 out of pocket for an office visit, and $15 each for three gradually reduced dosages.
Furious (at myself as much as anyone else, I didn't anticipate expenses past keeping the mortgage paid and the taxes paid), I went to the garage, removed a new mailbox post and mailbox, some white paint, rollers, brushes, and stencils (for painting my house number on the finished post), retrieved the post hole digger from the back yard, and dug around the old post to remove it, then used the post hole digger to make a nice, deep slot for the new post.
That's all I remember until I woke up in an ambulance with an EMT asking me a series of questions. Even that memory is hazy, as is my memory of sitting in an ER waiting room for what seemed like forever. I don't remember much of that first day and night in the ICU, but the second day is quite vivid, the attending neurologist told me they had done a blood screen to find out if there were any drugs in my system, and behold, the all-purpose "benzo" red flag popped up. Nonplussed, I gave him my psychiatrist's phone number so that he could verify I'd only been @lpr@zol@m-free for two weeks. Oh, they ran the entire gamut of tests, from EEG to brain MRI, and found nothing, all the while I was trying to explain to them that I'd been cut loose from a medication known to cause seizures during withdrawal, with no taper whatsoever, and though I think I caught a disapproving look from the neurologist, I wasn't sure if it was directed at me or at my psychiatrist.
In any event, after three days and nights of blood tests and various other pricks and pokes they decided to release me, and here's the kicker. The neurologist told me he'd like to start me on g@b@pentin, and since I'd never heard of it before, I asked how it worked and how much it cost. Again, upon discovering that I had no income, he lost interest and told me to "pick up some Valerian Root or St. John's Wort."
A week later I received a monstrously large bill from the neurologist's office, which I promptly tore to sheds and threw in the trash.
I still get "zaps" almost daily, and I haven't touched an @alpr@zol@m in almost two months. I often lose my bearings when getting out of bed in the morning or rising too rapidly from a chair, and the cursed GAD, and its associated panic attacks, are worse than they've ever been. I'm fielding telephone interviews for employment opportunities, but I dread the first offer for an in-person interview, terrified I'll have a seizure during a round-robin series.
I'm dead-set against starting an @lpr@zol@m regime again, having been off of it for this long, I think it would be foolhardy to start it again, knowing what the consequences might be. The irony is that before I was put on that short-acting medication, I was prescribed 10mg V@lium once daily (taken in the evening at 6PM, and it lasted just fine until the following evening at the same time).
My bad luck I suppose, there are not many doctors remaining who prescribe V@lium, although twenty years of medical records confirm a diagnosis of severe GAD and panic attacks. Perhaps when I find a new job with decent health insurance the selection of doctors available to me will broaden, but in the meantime, living alone in terror of having a seizure and not being found for goodness knows how long is disconcerting, so here I am.
On edit for IceWizard, Mad Max, and Charon: It is 12:25AM on Saturday, November 25, I promise not to post more than four more times in the next 24 hours ;-)