i thought i did. i have paid the expensive rent on time every month cuz dennis died immediately.

and there are all celing lights wih wacky kinds of bulbs. not one of our lamps made it here. a table lamp. not one.

so i thought social services was gonna come today. and i called the landlord whom is one house next door if he could change the light bulbs. one needs to climb a ladder which, being permanently disabled, is not wise for me to try.

and the landlord freaked out and told me no way does he do that. i thought i found the bulbs but nope.

and he screamed at me at the top of his lungs for 7 minutes or longer.

i asked social services if they were coming today again cuz maybe they could help me do it.

they screamed at me.

and ended up with u gotta just keep those shades open and buy a lamp. i had several. whom the hell stole them?

and landlord is so furious. i mentioned i thought landlords did help with those sorts of things. made him scream really alot more. and he counted on dennis being here to do all that sort of stuff. well so did i.

i said i shall wait till i get my monies at end of month to buy one.

ass holes.

i would think a landlord, to a permantly disabled woman would just come on next door and change the ceiling bulb.

man they are all angry with me now.

but i had said i would prefer to go cuz the rent being 1500 for one person and then heat was 459 so now i gotta look really hard.

and who the hell stole all our possessions? we even had a tiffany table lamp of me mother. lots of things that went missing on the way up here.

what the hell does a landlord do then?

he said he was counting on dennis being here. so was i. but he has rented to a permanently disabled woman and should handle something like a ladder up to the lamps. they are all high ceiling lamps.

so i guess no one is coming today. gonna lie back down. and no one better show up. five people showed up yesterday and exposed me to exhaustion cuz i do lie in bed but also to germs.

i gotta get outta this place.

I pray Gods love and protection over all of you. If you dont know Him, its really a significant time to meet the Lord. Whilst you are still alive.

Dennis was healthy. He had no warning that his slight breathing issues would lead to death.

Make peace with God. confess your sins. live for him.

God will bless you for that. If you have fear, call on Him and his angels.

When dennis was not feeling well God let me know there is heaven all around us. i thought i would go but no. God took him.

i never even heard the words heaven is all around you before.

pray. be blessed. and believe. nite all. HUGS.

i mean back from 2010. i could have sworn i began to receive it in 2012

and of course the amounts are peanuts.

and they are sending the mail to an old address. the last one dennis and i shared. i think. we moved around.

and every day i have social workers here trying to get me into a DR and then a home. a one roomer. cheap.

but, i am irish. what is not broke, i dont attempt to fix.

fastest way to discover the disease that has taken down all of my family is to go see a dr. yeah, no.

but i had like 5 social workers here today. one after another. at least one brought some food.

i do not want to go to a dr cuz that is when we find out we have our family disease. the big C. yeah, i have no symptoms.

and i am getting all old social security administration letters. which should have gone out in 2010. much lower amounts of money.

i hope some idiot is not pulling this fol de rol on me. its not like i am gonna believe it and panic.

i am an attorney.

but getting mail to me at old old addresses is wacko world. its not like they have not known where i have been forever.

although chase bank would not take my social security payments cuz i did move around alot. differering men. diifrering colleges. differeing interests.

but wth? old old old mail? i do still read u know idiots.

been a busy day getting every social worker in the area showing up today. and i think one is coming tomorrow.

no, i have to go thru my possessions without u all here. and see what i am keeping. cuz dont wanna pay 1500 rent plus heat any more. it was dennis idea but he was dead the minute almost we got here.

the landlord told the social worker that i was a good tenant. but dennis was The Kid. i dont know what the hell that means. i just know he drove LL in my car on my gas money all over the place. then died.

sighs. a light went out in here so i cannot see. we had not even moved in yet so we have absolutely no plug in lites and i aint gonna buy one. The LL liked dennis alot. he and i never really spoke so he does not like me so much at all.

and i can be quite likeable. no noise. no tv. no company. quiet solitude to deal with life as it is now. and make my decisions.

but i am curious why all this old and older mail from social security admin.

dont even go buy. it happened to show up in my bar above. i did not click on it.

and suddenly i receive a notification that i now have a new and 3rd cc.

and, to delete their balderdash, they say Call us: it will cost u one dollar to do so. was not gonna pay it. but i read it and if one pays the one dollar fee to correct their error, one is agreeing in the small print to pay $55 dollars as either a one time fee or recurring fee.

don't even stroll by it. do u know how many would not even notice that balderdash? i had it removed from all records within 7 minutes and i had to pay no fee.

be careful guys. the scammers are everywhere. i imagine some little old lady wont be able to afford food for awhile now due to that BS.

stay safe. the scammers are everywhere.