Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

An almost blind guy walked into Lover's Lane to purchase their most see-through item for his wife.

After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $500 and brought it home for his wife to try on.

She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all.

So she came downstairs completely naked.

"Huh?" said the old man, hugging her.
"For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing".


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A man goes to his doctors and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say

"Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"

"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history".

So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.

A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.

"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"

"Wife?" asks the man "I haven't been home yet".


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URGENT WARNING!!!
 



I walked into my local hardware store at lunchtime, and wandered down the timber aisle and some old fart
dressed in a red shirt with a green apron on asked me if I was looking for a good decking.

Fortunately, I got the first half dozen punches in and sorted the bastard out.

Those less suspecting might not be so lucky. Spread this warning on to all your friends.


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