01-03-2023, 05:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-03-2023, 05:54 PM by Chinchillin777.)
Oh dear lord… I know I don’t frequent this site regularly (some names I always recognize from years passed) but it’s the only real source of news/information insofar as where other people in life and the general trend of ho w things are going… which in my own experience could never have been worse than this moment. I am 100% F*****, not in a legal sense (thank god) but in terms of quite literally having no where to turn as I’d long been reliant on a single, very reliable & resilient source, that as of now seems to have shuttered their doors / admitted defeat. I could not be more devastated or terrified of what is to come if you held a gun to my head.
I know I don’t actually know any of you all, but I have no friends or family to speak of, and if I have to end my life, I at least want someone somewhere out there to know WHY - that it wasn’t because of my depression or anxiety or pain, but because some a******s decided to take away the only thing(s) that made waking up in the morning bearable. I can’t believe of all of the real violence and crime happening to innocent people in our society, that the government has time for things like this.
I should have been smarter and never stopped searching for new doorways, taking for granted that what once existed and seemed stable would remain so in years to come as it has for so many years, of all the things I constantly ruminate and fear about (especially post Covid -19) it was honestly not near the top of my list. I wrongly assumed that where there is demand there will always be supply, and now I see way too late that couldn’t have been farther from the truth and that my days were always numbered being so stupid, naïve, and complacent about a factor of my life that makes such an enormous difference.
I hope you are all ok as always and that you were smarter than I was… I’m so afraid
I know I don’t actually know any of you all, but I have no friends or family to speak of, and if I have to end my life, I at least want someone somewhere out there to know WHY - that it wasn’t because of my depression or anxiety or pain, but because some a******s decided to take away the only thing(s) that made waking up in the morning bearable. I can’t believe of all of the real violence and crime happening to innocent people in our society, that the government has time for things like this.
I should have been smarter and never stopped searching for new doorways, taking for granted that what once existed and seemed stable would remain so in years to come as it has for so many years, of all the things I constantly ruminate and fear about (especially post Covid -19) it was honestly not near the top of my list. I wrongly assumed that where there is demand there will always be supply, and now I see way too late that couldn’t have been farther from the truth and that my days were always numbered being so stupid, naïve, and complacent about a factor of my life that makes such an enormous difference.
I hope you are all ok as always and that you were smarter than I was… I’m so afraid