another forum says many vendors down now

[Chinchillin777]

I swear I would love to be a regularly active member of this community, but with the extreme inherent anxiety I already suffer from, compounded by the many all-too-real scenarios/posts that jump out at me just glancing over the site for a few moments is enough to give me a panic attack. Topics like this concern me day and night regardless of the actual objective reality of what’s going on… but then on the other hand it’s almost equally concerning to me that I might totally “lose touch” with any trustworthy individuals whatsoever and be left totally blind and alone in the dark, never having even seen it coming. Like at one point I know I had over 100 posts, but now I am down to 79/80 it seems (and have been for some time) idk if that’s an intentional punitive side effect of not logging in/posting regularly, or if many of my posts came from threads that no longer exist for one reason or another.

I swear some days I just wish I could go to sleep forever, but then even *that* scares me, I’m like afraid of my own shadow. Idk, all I can say is best of luck to each and every deserving member of this forum in their own specific trials and tribulations, as I don’t ever foresee this crazy merry-go-round quality of life ever substantially improving, in the end I feel like some part of it just boils down to a crapshoot