11-20-2016, 03:27 PM
btodd9, You're right. They can be very dismissive. I have often wanted to wear some type of bandage, not band aid, but a serious looking bandage; perhaps some gauze wrapped around my head in the forehead area when going places. Just because anxiety and depression etc., are "invisible", people act like it's just not that big of deal. But if it was something they could SEE, they would.
I would also love to be able to say "This is what it is like" and to be able to give them the feelings I get for just a short bit of time. Then say "See what I mean? NOW...try functioning like you always have, but with those feelings 24/7."
I've also noticed (at least this has been my experience) that the introvert loses out over the extrovert. The extrovert says "Ohhhh, come on! You'll enjoy yourself! It'll be fun! Just go, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee?!" Always being put on the spot, always being told "You'll be fine when you're there!" "It'll be FUN!" "You laughed last time, I saw you!" (No, you saw an oscar winning performance, that is what you saw).
But introverts don't say "Ohhhhhh just stay home. Come on, you'll enjoy it! You can read that book you've been wanting to read!" "You'll enjoy this puzzle! Just sit still and do this puzzle, it'll be fun! You had fun the last time, I saw you, remember? How much we laughed?!" "Give it a try! You won't know until you TRY! Stay home, we'll put a fire on, and you can read or work that crossword puzzle you've been wanting to do."
Nope. I've never seen that happen.
Where can I buy a real heavy, kind of scary looking leg brace? I don't mean to be insensitive, I myself have physical disabilities. I have osteoarthritis in my left leg due to breaking it in several places years ago. But nobody can see the hardware in my leg, so they dismiss it. "Hey, that was so long ago. We've come so far with surgeries, you went to the store, it can't hurt that bad?" My reason for wearing it would be to be able to say "Oh, I have to wear this when it gets bad where they operated." They'd say "Ohhhhhhhh." And be fine with me not going to wherever it is they wanted me to tag along to. But I want one that makes people look away. Not a cast or crutches. That way they'll leave me alone in public places.
"Why would you have anxiety? It will just be people you know?"
Sigh. I don't even explain it anymore. I used to try "I just DO. It's there even when you guys aren't there! It's inside of me. It's a part of me." What I don't say "My grandmother had it and I inherited it from her, and grew up in a critical household. I dread even the THOUGHT of going, so don't even try to get me to go. I. Don't. Enjoy. The. Same. Things. You. Do."
Do I need to wear a sweatshirt that says "Please Pretend I'm Invisible." ??? Sort of defeats the purpose of the saying on the sweatshirt, doesn't it?
But I still get angry because I try to see "their side." I can see it when my father is going "stir crazy" and wants to get out of the house so visits his son in law or grandson. I know when my mom needs to get out and water her plants or see her kids or go out to dinner. And I don't blame them.
But every time it's "You sure you don't want to go with us to (insert restaurant or event here)?" "No thanks. I'm going to finish my book." Later on their way out "You're not coming with us? You sure? Lots of good food there and...". "Nahhhh. I'm fine. I don't feel like going."
And it's not like I can explain to just anyone: "No, I can't. I wouldn't enjoy myself. The noise is too much for me and the lights are too bright for me right now. I can't handle it."
Then I'm stuck with guilt. I think maybe my parents feel guilty - like they're leaving me alone. "Poor girl, all alone. She'd have fun if she'd just give it a chance."
I HAVE! A BILLION TIMES! I WAS QUITE BUSY WITH MY OWN GROUP OF FRIENDS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER! We went places, did things, and had LOADS of fun! But I'm older and tired now. And very mentally exhausted. I can barely manage to deal with the cat litter and finally got the trash bag out to the trash. Then I had to make a doctor's appt, and now? I'm feeling like I just worked a full 9 hour shift. I'm also feeling good because I actually finished putting clean sheets on my bed. Now THAT can be a task for The Hulk. Especially that bottom sheet!
I always try to put myself into another person's place. I try to picture what they are thinking, feeling, going through, etc. I can see how an extrovert would be bored stiff staying home. Being with people is something that they enjoy and makes them feel productive, happy, energized, content, comfortable, etc., etc.
Well, it doesn't do that for me. It makes me feel overwhelmed (depending on what the "outing" is), tired, and I just want to go home. And it's boring to me. But it's like those who are extroverts don't try to understand. They try to change you, instead, thinking it will help you. But I don't see many introverts trying to change extroverts?
You know, it's not wrong to be either type. Or even in between, or more towards one side than the other. We need all different types in this world. We need the kind of people who are "outgoing" and don't mind being in the public eye, etc. We also need those who can work behind the scenes, in offices, labs, etc. Scientists, engineers, etc.
I asked my father years ago when I was in high school "Dad, why did you decide to become a design engineer?" He said with NO hesitation: "Because I knew I didn't want to work with people." He still worked with them, but I knew what he meant. It was just what my sister and I are like. It was behind the scenes.
Okay, I'm done venting now!
Abigail
I would also love to be able to say "This is what it is like" and to be able to give them the feelings I get for just a short bit of time. Then say "See what I mean? NOW...try functioning like you always have, but with those feelings 24/7."
I've also noticed (at least this has been my experience) that the introvert loses out over the extrovert. The extrovert says "Ohhhh, come on! You'll enjoy yourself! It'll be fun! Just go, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee?!" Always being put on the spot, always being told "You'll be fine when you're there!" "It'll be FUN!" "You laughed last time, I saw you!" (No, you saw an oscar winning performance, that is what you saw).
But introverts don't say "Ohhhhhh just stay home. Come on, you'll enjoy it! You can read that book you've been wanting to read!" "You'll enjoy this puzzle! Just sit still and do this puzzle, it'll be fun! You had fun the last time, I saw you, remember? How much we laughed?!" "Give it a try! You won't know until you TRY! Stay home, we'll put a fire on, and you can read or work that crossword puzzle you've been wanting to do."
Nope. I've never seen that happen.
Where can I buy a real heavy, kind of scary looking leg brace? I don't mean to be insensitive, I myself have physical disabilities. I have osteoarthritis in my left leg due to breaking it in several places years ago. But nobody can see the hardware in my leg, so they dismiss it. "Hey, that was so long ago. We've come so far with surgeries, you went to the store, it can't hurt that bad?" My reason for wearing it would be to be able to say "Oh, I have to wear this when it gets bad where they operated." They'd say "Ohhhhhhhh." And be fine with me not going to wherever it is they wanted me to tag along to. But I want one that makes people look away. Not a cast or crutches. That way they'll leave me alone in public places.
"Why would you have anxiety? It will just be people you know?"
Sigh. I don't even explain it anymore. I used to try "I just DO. It's there even when you guys aren't there! It's inside of me. It's a part of me." What I don't say "My grandmother had it and I inherited it from her, and grew up in a critical household. I dread even the THOUGHT of going, so don't even try to get me to go. I. Don't. Enjoy. The. Same. Things. You. Do."
Do I need to wear a sweatshirt that says "Please Pretend I'm Invisible." ??? Sort of defeats the purpose of the saying on the sweatshirt, doesn't it?
But I still get angry because I try to see "their side." I can see it when my father is going "stir crazy" and wants to get out of the house so visits his son in law or grandson. I know when my mom needs to get out and water her plants or see her kids or go out to dinner. And I don't blame them.
But every time it's "You sure you don't want to go with us to (insert restaurant or event here)?" "No thanks. I'm going to finish my book." Later on their way out "You're not coming with us? You sure? Lots of good food there and...". "Nahhhh. I'm fine. I don't feel like going."
And it's not like I can explain to just anyone: "No, I can't. I wouldn't enjoy myself. The noise is too much for me and the lights are too bright for me right now. I can't handle it."
Then I'm stuck with guilt. I think maybe my parents feel guilty - like they're leaving me alone. "Poor girl, all alone. She'd have fun if she'd just give it a chance."
I HAVE! A BILLION TIMES! I WAS QUITE BUSY WITH MY OWN GROUP OF FRIENDS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER! We went places, did things, and had LOADS of fun! But I'm older and tired now. And very mentally exhausted. I can barely manage to deal with the cat litter and finally got the trash bag out to the trash. Then I had to make a doctor's appt, and now? I'm feeling like I just worked a full 9 hour shift. I'm also feeling good because I actually finished putting clean sheets on my bed. Now THAT can be a task for The Hulk. Especially that bottom sheet!
I always try to put myself into another person's place. I try to picture what they are thinking, feeling, going through, etc. I can see how an extrovert would be bored stiff staying home. Being with people is something that they enjoy and makes them feel productive, happy, energized, content, comfortable, etc., etc.
Well, it doesn't do that for me. It makes me feel overwhelmed (depending on what the "outing" is), tired, and I just want to go home. And it's boring to me. But it's like those who are extroverts don't try to understand. They try to change you, instead, thinking it will help you. But I don't see many introverts trying to change extroverts?
You know, it's not wrong to be either type. Or even in between, or more towards one side than the other. We need all different types in this world. We need the kind of people who are "outgoing" and don't mind being in the public eye, etc. We also need those who can work behind the scenes, in offices, labs, etc. Scientists, engineers, etc.
I asked my father years ago when I was in high school "Dad, why did you decide to become a design engineer?" He said with NO hesitation: "Because I knew I didn't want to work with people." He still worked with them, but I knew what he meant. It was just what my sister and I are like. It was behind the scenes.
Okay, I'm done venting now!
Abigail