04-13-2017, 01:13 AM
i appreciate it guys, you know in general i would say if anyone is looking for information about it maybe they will find it and that can imbue meaning to my or anyone elses' struggle, so i want to reference everything i have to say here even though i would stand behind it just based on personal experience, but as a self-defined addict i have a lot of issues with our "situation" in this country which from my point of view is this: limited access to healthcare, and limited medical treatments, a predatory and expensive rehab system that preys on us and our families (1) and research into the condition (i find it confusing that as even as president obama said our country *is* going through an opioid epidemic (2) canada is as well (3) and aside from our own countries pharms clandestine chem labs in asia are pumping simply *too strong* products that are ending up in our street drugs [fentanyl, carfentanil {opioid so strong it's an actual elephant tranq}] (4) that the country is choking up on buprenorphine access, and straight up i could find a reference for that but i've had to deal with it myself.) and finally filling more and more private prisons with our bodies so whitey McOldguy makes a buck off of our misery. if ballpark 1-2 our of 3 prisoners is a non-violent drug offender, and america houses 25% of the worlds prisoners what does that tell you? (5)
last year i had a doctor find soma in my system, ask me to stop and bump up my sub dose to an irresponsible amount all in one thirty minute session that he demanded that attend in the middle of my finals. now dig this logic, he calls me to an emergency session, won't tell me what it's about over the phone, i go there, 2 hours away because i live in the middle of nowhere small college town, to address the dirty piss i don't even know about yet, and i'm simply straight up with him about it after he told me point blank he wasn't one of those doctors i had to hide things from and i might have PTSD ect. then, he piss tests me before i go and i assume that is it until next month. first of all let's say thank goodness i'm lucky to have insurance, and a family or it would be unlikely i could afford to see this person at all, let alone afford to pay for his prescriptions, particularly the massive sub one. now i'm not stupid, i'm not going to just up my sub dose to level crazy just because some dude says so, and thank goodness again i didn't, bc, i suppose he expected me to a. quit taking the soma and b. get it all out of my system within the 3 minutes since we just talked about it and i went to the bathroom to piss in a cup, because 17 days later i recieved a letter in the mail saying he was discharging me as his patient for failing 2 drug tests, and refused to even speak to me or write me a prescription for a months worth of sub to look for another doctor, which is standard. i meet him for the first time and he tests me, he finds something, we talk about it, tests me again as i'm walking out thinking i'll just quit and see him next month. i'm not going to waste my time pointing out you can't pass a drug test about something seconds after it is addressed, because i think collectively we all know what happened here. many doctors who deal in sub are like this, and they put us in the mind frame like we are going to court or getting pulled over by the police when we go to their office, and these doctors who are psychiatrists slinging sub on the side are influencing us to close up even further in that environment. now my "psychiatrist" is not a person i talk to about anything, he is a person i answer to, once a month, to get what i need to get by, keep my mouth shut everything is fine and keep on moving. in this environment i don't know how anyone wouldn't feel on edge. little non-sequitur but just to bring a little perspective to where everyone's priorities are at while 1/10th of their population dies on the vine: dr. phil cash me outside how bout dat girl is making 100 grand a week rn. seriously most of the time i just can't even.
-S.
1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mggiD9OvRQQ
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXH5agV7skw
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28rJqj-7pEY
4. https://www.yahoo.com/news/rash-overdose...54931.html
5. 13, documentary, netflix
last year i had a doctor find soma in my system, ask me to stop and bump up my sub dose to an irresponsible amount all in one thirty minute session that he demanded that attend in the middle of my finals. now dig this logic, he calls me to an emergency session, won't tell me what it's about over the phone, i go there, 2 hours away because i live in the middle of nowhere small college town, to address the dirty piss i don't even know about yet, and i'm simply straight up with him about it after he told me point blank he wasn't one of those doctors i had to hide things from and i might have PTSD ect. then, he piss tests me before i go and i assume that is it until next month. first of all let's say thank goodness i'm lucky to have insurance, and a family or it would be unlikely i could afford to see this person at all, let alone afford to pay for his prescriptions, particularly the massive sub one. now i'm not stupid, i'm not going to just up my sub dose to level crazy just because some dude says so, and thank goodness again i didn't, bc, i suppose he expected me to a. quit taking the soma and b. get it all out of my system within the 3 minutes since we just talked about it and i went to the bathroom to piss in a cup, because 17 days later i recieved a letter in the mail saying he was discharging me as his patient for failing 2 drug tests, and refused to even speak to me or write me a prescription for a months worth of sub to look for another doctor, which is standard. i meet him for the first time and he tests me, he finds something, we talk about it, tests me again as i'm walking out thinking i'll just quit and see him next month. i'm not going to waste my time pointing out you can't pass a drug test about something seconds after it is addressed, because i think collectively we all know what happened here. many doctors who deal in sub are like this, and they put us in the mind frame like we are going to court or getting pulled over by the police when we go to their office, and these doctors who are psychiatrists slinging sub on the side are influencing us to close up even further in that environment. now my "psychiatrist" is not a person i talk to about anything, he is a person i answer to, once a month, to get what i need to get by, keep my mouth shut everything is fine and keep on moving. in this environment i don't know how anyone wouldn't feel on edge. little non-sequitur but just to bring a little perspective to where everyone's priorities are at while 1/10th of their population dies on the vine: dr. phil cash me outside how bout dat girl is making 100 grand a week rn. seriously most of the time i just can't even.
-S.
1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mggiD9OvRQQ
2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXH5agV7skw
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28rJqj-7pEY
4. https://www.yahoo.com/news/rash-overdose...54931.html
5. 13, documentary, netflix