02-11-2018, 09:58 PM
Blockhead59 and Stealth38 it seems to me like i wrote that years ago, when reading my own post.
there has been a lot of changes in my life since then but for most part i took up more stress specially in last few months since new year, now luckily few really good people helped me out on this forum in time of struggle.
now as family goes they are still in the dark about my benzo usage and without them id crumble easily,i been on them for 7-9 years lost track by now, anywhere from 10mgs to 0 a day, stable on about 4mgs xans half of that is mostly just for sleep nowadays so not an issue when not working.
Problem is that family doesnt matter how close if they dont see you at your worst when anxiety strikes they dont see the issue in it, when your in a comfort of home.
place i work takes mental health seriously but the gossip amongst staff is two faced **** its all just a show to say we care when in fact they will be the first ones to judge you.And thank god benzos for that as showing weakness in some jobs will label one as nuts.
thou reading my initial post i would actually suggest people specially who are still young and just finding ways to cope with anxiety speak up to your family even if its one member, since once i did eventually open up,it was fast forgotten and took me like another 5 yrs to bring topic back up, nowadays i can speak about it with some of my family members any time (well one member) but they still have 0 understanding how it affects on daily basis,to cope with it , i dont bring up topic of meds usage nor would i seek some psych help - after so many years on benzos only route is slow taper which would take me prob 2 years from now and, given financials and usual routine where you run out more often then stockpile enough just to be on the safe side doesnt help either.
i wish there was single solution to all such issues but psychology shows that everything in our lives forms us from the day we are born, since its not a single instance that causes one anxiety but rather many different events and experiences,outside factors environment and people down to the genes and ones personality, its easy to inflict harm and affect ones behavior but its proven that even single event could affect one for lifetime, let alone 100s trough out the years.
if one can get medical/pshych help and afford it then its good way to go, but if system is broken and youll pay someone 100$h to analyze your life for you and give whatever they will experiment with you its ones choice, since dont see anyone claiming 1mill nobel prize for solving this any time soon.
thus i try not to judge people on what they do or take or what their reasons are, what works for one might be drop in the ocean for another.
there has been a lot of changes in my life since then but for most part i took up more stress specially in last few months since new year, now luckily few really good people helped me out on this forum in time of struggle.
now as family goes they are still in the dark about my benzo usage and without them id crumble easily,i been on them for 7-9 years lost track by now, anywhere from 10mgs to 0 a day, stable on about 4mgs xans half of that is mostly just for sleep nowadays so not an issue when not working.
Problem is that family doesnt matter how close if they dont see you at your worst when anxiety strikes they dont see the issue in it, when your in a comfort of home.
place i work takes mental health seriously but the gossip amongst staff is two faced **** its all just a show to say we care when in fact they will be the first ones to judge you.And thank god benzos for that as showing weakness in some jobs will label one as nuts.
thou reading my initial post i would actually suggest people specially who are still young and just finding ways to cope with anxiety speak up to your family even if its one member, since once i did eventually open up,it was fast forgotten and took me like another 5 yrs to bring topic back up, nowadays i can speak about it with some of my family members any time (well one member) but they still have 0 understanding how it affects on daily basis,to cope with it , i dont bring up topic of meds usage nor would i seek some psych help - after so many years on benzos only route is slow taper which would take me prob 2 years from now and, given financials and usual routine where you run out more often then stockpile enough just to be on the safe side doesnt help either.
i wish there was single solution to all such issues but psychology shows that everything in our lives forms us from the day we are born, since its not a single instance that causes one anxiety but rather many different events and experiences,outside factors environment and people down to the genes and ones personality, its easy to inflict harm and affect ones behavior but its proven that even single event could affect one for lifetime, let alone 100s trough out the years.
if one can get medical/pshych help and afford it then its good way to go, but if system is broken and youll pay someone 100$h to analyze your life for you and give whatever they will experiment with you its ones choice, since dont see anyone claiming 1mill nobel prize for solving this any time soon.
thus i try not to judge people on what they do or take or what their reasons are, what works for one might be drop in the ocean for another.