Oh What A Mess

[Naomi]

good evening all...

Just thought I would post an update..

There are good days, bad days and just horrible days.

When a mother looses her only child what can be said? What can be done?

We can keep her in a pretty good state of mind as long as we keep her busy. It's still the time alone that she has to spend as none of us can be with her 24/7. She gets by herself and that's when her mind just starts to run wild. I was told these are called "racing thoughts".

She has been making use of her antibuse but not on the regular every day basis that she needs to be. She has fallen off the wagon a few times since I last posted.

She is still going to Psychologist but honestly what can he say either. Just things we already know

I try to understand but how does one understand a mother loosing her son. IMPOSSIBLE!!!

He had passed away last October and up until this point she has wanted to keep his room exactly as it is even going so far as still smelling his cloths.

Now here's where I need advice.

I do not think this is healthy at all as all it is to me is an anchor holding her back from being able to move forward. This Saturday we are planning on finally cleaning out his room with respect. I have arranged to have several family members and close friends that have all offered to come over and help out with this awful task.

When we start I know she is going to breakdown right away and possibly even demand we not do it.

I have re assured her we will go through everything respectfully and box things up for future memories except for a few things this young man had that I think should be on a mantle or something to honor him.

I'd really like ANY feedback as it has only been 4 months (seems like yesterday) but how long can you go on like this without moving forward.

Thanks for any advice in advance

Peace All

Fury

Hi Fury. I haven't lost a child, but I have lost family and have been told conflicting info from psychiatrists. Some say to remove all pictures of the person so you're not constantly reminded of them or thinking of them. I understand where that is coming from, but it feels a bit cold. I've also had experience with leaving the room as a shrine almost. Indefinitely. Or sometimes, like you're thinking about, going through everything and getting it out of there. I think you can only go with what feels right, since every situation is so different. I hope you both figure out what works best for you both.