Humorous Smilies

[Mr. HIND]

[Charon]

   

[willie33]

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back.

He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey!,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'

Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.'

[IceWizard]

A slice of apple pie in Jamacia is $2.00
It's $2.50 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean


*******

BREAKIN NEWS:::

Man gets hit by rental car.
Says it HERTZ

******

Where do you take someone that got hurt
in a Peek-a-Boo accident?

The I.C.U.

******

Amal and Juan are identical twins
Their mom only carries only
one photo because

If you've seen Juan
You've see Amal.

******

Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself,

That's a little condescending.

******

A weasel walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Wow, in all my years
I've never had a weasel in my bar. What can I get you?"

"Pop", goes the weasel

******

Once I swallowed a dictionary.

It gave me thesaurus throat
I ever had.

******

Where did the Terminator
find toilet paper?

Aisle B Back

**********


This is a young Andrew Dice Clay
and contains totally X-Rated comedy




"The Diceman Cometh" (Entire Show) - Andrew Dice Clay (1989)

[Charon]

   

[Charon]

   

[IceWizard]

Here's a fun fact

Before the invention of the crowbar,
Crows had to do all their drinking at home


*******

People are usually shocked
when they find out that I'm not a good
electrician

*******

My friend said he just didn't Understand cloning

I said, " That make two of us."

******

I have a horse that I name Mayo,
Every now and then
Mayo neighs

******

A Mexican magician told his audience that
he would disappear  on the count of three.

He said, "Uno.... Dos..."

Then *POOF*

He disappeared without a Tres


******

Bad Puns

That's how
Eye Roll

[Charon]

   

[Mr. HIND]

[willie33]

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