Benzodiazepine Withdrawal support

[quickfix]

I don't want to post a link on here in case I get in trouble, but may I recommend The Ashton Manual for those who are looking to taper down or are going through wd.
It can be found free online, she has devoted her career in benzo research and recovery with decades of experience.

[Chicci]

Hey Nick,
Very honest post. It seems you have been down this road in the past so you know what to do. Although that doesnt make it easier..I know.
First thing to do is do not let it get any worse. Try to stabilise it. Then try to taper it down as fast as you can without feel ing really uncomfortable.
Go to meetings or a therapist if that helped you in the past.
You took the first step by communicating it here. You know what a poison these benzos are. It wont be easy but you know what needs to be done.
You can do it!

[nick222]

Thanks Izzy, Quickfix and Chicci for your words of support. Today I woke up with a new sense of clarity and can think rationally for once- I guess getting it off my chest really helped.

Today I found every pill in my house and counted them all (in the hundreds all up). Mostly clon and vals, a few xans too. I flushed the xans because they always cause problems. At the moment, as I said I've only been taking at night about 2mg clon and maybe 10mg val at the most. I am considering giving most of them to my brother to hold on to (I know he will support me if I tell him).

I looked into the ashton manual and I think it is doable/ modifiable with what I already have on hand- start tapering with the clon and then move onto the diaz due to its (slightly) longer half life.

Tomorrow I am going to start looking for support groups or counsellors to help me through this. I've been through this before, but only ever alone. Feeling positive.

[quickfix]

I will not post a link on here, nor quote or talk to someone directly in case I get in trouble. I will only speak from my own personal experience about this topic in hope it will help someone else.

Battling with wd for the last three years, I have come to realize the single most important thing I had to do was at all costs avoid any other gaba a agonists which benzos bind to. For me that was alcohol which also binds to the same receptors in the brain, now I do not at all recommend going cold turkey from alc if you are dependent on it as it is just as dangerous as going ct from benzos. If you are dependent on both alc and benz this should be taken with extreme caution but also to be dependent on both is very dangerous esp if used in conjunction!

After having to go into detox as I was not consistent with my taper, it was the worst experience of my life that nearly killed me.
re-instating benz was the only option after that if I were to function at some decent level and not loose everything, I still don't know how I managed to keep everything in my life together whilst going through ct wd. But I don't regret the experience as it gave me the strength to face it head on this time and the taper quite honestly is a breeze compared to ct wd i went through. I tapered down to one sixth of the dose I used to be on.

May I recommend THE ASHTON MANUAL which can be found easily online. She has devoted her whole career on benz research and withdrawal and recovery with decades of experience in the field. She was a Prof at Newcastle University, and knows more about benzos than any MD who hands them out! You can even print it and take it to your DR, they should not dismiss it.

The most important thing is you first have to be ready to do this, don't start unless you are ready to taper and take on whats going to be a long but rewarding journey at the end.
For me the second was to remove alcohol all together- I cannot stress how much of a difference this has made.
Third is to move to a long lasting benzo such as val- all of this can be found on the Ashton manual.
Fourth is to know your body and what it can handle and what it can't, I have become sensitive to a lot of things in my diet and the world around me. But slowly exposing yourself to those things in order to stimulate your brain on the right course to a successful recovery.
Caffeine and Alcohol were the two most important things I had to remove also being careful with certain supplements.
The world around me became quite vivid, and at some points quite intolerable so a good support system is essential and knowing this is all part of withdrawal.
Anyhow I can go on forever, I hope my story helps some of you out there suffering. Please stay away from alcohol and caffeine, switch to a long acting benzo and let people know what your going through so you can have the mental support you need. p.s check the Ashton Manual

Good luck guys!

[coffeedude22]

For some reason, having only been on klonopin, i've never had much trouble jumping off it. Maybe it's just in my head, but i feel like if it was any of the others it would be more difficult. I haven't drank coffee in a few years and I feel like it would be otherwise if I did though. Still, all my empathy to those struggling, the vitamin L-theanine helps me greatly for anxiety and sleep

[quickfix]

Well I made the dumbest mistake today by having a chai latte which I did not know had caffeine. It caused a horrible panic attack/adrenaline rush that I have not had for a while with heart palpitations even when I am also on propranolol- a beta blocker.

I was nervous of a seizure coming on, so lied down in the dark in my bedroom.

Please stay away from caffeine at all costs, also it reduces the effects of benzos so if your tapering it will interfere with your blood plasma levels.

I'm still trembling a little, quite shocked at how much of an effect caffeine can have on us recovering But I've also not had any caffeine for months. I hope I am not in for a sleepless night again.

[Chantilly]

It's the short acting benzos which hit harder and faster, benzos with long half-lifes (kpin, diaz) take much longer to wear off but the symptoms are just as bad. I've been on both types for few months now.

For the xannys and halcion poppers out there, it's the anxiety which hits the next day and keeps on building. Switching to a longer-acting benzo will quell the symptoms (for me anyway- but i feel stupider after switching lol).

For all the kpin, valium lovers (myself included) symptoms start with a nasty cold but manageable anxiety in the start.

I've never finished a taper successfully. Heck, i barely lasted 3 weeks at best: one quarter of the ashton tapering schedule. Well if you are a light benzo taker (<1.5mg alp per day) the duration and suffering will be shorter and sweeter. Myself am not so fortunate so I'm in this for the long haul. The tapering schedule can be done with prep, discipline, and as am discovering, lots of self-compromise but I'm quite certain i can quit eventually. But I have no idea if i can deal with the crippling anxiety. That's what frightens me the most.

Ah well. Que Sera Sera

[nick222]

Update for you guys

I've been down to 2mg klonopin and 5-10mg diaz a day for the last few days and am feeling fine- I admittedly did go on a binge last week so might still have some metabolites from then in my system.

I reckon if I can stabilise to 2mg klon and 5mg diaz a day for a week I will be able to wean down by 0.5mg klonopin per week and then stay on the 5mg diaz at night (just knowing I have taken it helps me sleep, with tolerance it probably isn't doing much). From there I might do a tek to dissolve half my remaining diaz in propylene glycol (solubility is about 17mg per ml) and liquid dose down by 0.5-1mg per week (depending how I feel). A good friend of mine is holding the rest of my stash for me.

I have a bit of phenibut available to me which I believe primarily affects to gaba-b so doesn't have much of a cross tolerance. Good friend is keeping this for me in case of crisis. I have been calling my country's alcohol and drug helpline when I am feeling overwhelmed and they have been amazing and non-judgmental every time.

Seriously thinking about having my seizure medication reviewed/increased (keppra). When I was diagnosed as epileptic many years ago I was initially put on klonopin, which started this whole mess (I was an awkward teenager, it improved my confidence so much I thought it was a miracle drug, could finally talk to strangers without clamming up).

Overall going well so far. I feel that I wasn't in as deep as I had initially thought this time around. Baseline mood is good. No spine tingling, mysterious headaches or extreme agitation. Confident I can get through this.

[Charon]

so happy for u nick222. may u continue to defeat this problem.

well done.

[Sthroem]

Sharing our sources of benzo is one thing but I think we should also share our withdrawal experience to the fullest.
In my country, doctors are champions to prescribe benzos and anti-depressants. However, when it comes to making a withdrawal, these same doctors are not at all up to the problem of withdrawal.
I will take the time to post in detail how I managed two withdrawals without much difficulty. I can already tell you that the benzo used for the withdrawal was KETAZOLAM. See you soon for more details.