Hi everyone. sad soul with a ton of depression and anxiety.

[cutstack]

Hi everyone. I am a responsible guy in my upper 20's. I don't use any recreational drugs. I smoked weed maybe 4 times in my whole life. That is the extent of my drug use. Unfortunately for so many years now I have been plagued with anxiety and depression along with horrific insomnia. I have tried the non phamacological route going to a well known "sleep psychologist" which didn't help at all. I have been prescribed various benzos etc. Various sleeping pills. I refuse to take ssri's because I don't want the sides associated with that. I know 2 people in real life who suffered irreversible sides from 2 different ssri's. I do have to say that Viibryd has me curious. Anyhow, that's my story. Just a person with crippling anxiety and depression who can't always go to the dr to get the meds he needs. My life depends on these medications. I wake up every morning with anxiety that is insane. I always feel gloomy. I hope to both contribute to the forum and gain support from you guys and gals. Thank you

[willie33]

Welcome cutstack!

I understand anxiety and depression. I feel as though I have been fighting it for as long as I can remember. But it can be managed and life can be enjoyable despite it. Feel free to share here.

[Charon]

i am sorry cutstack. that must be so horribly difficult to deal with.

u have a wonderful attitude though. You have not given up hope.

Many of us have had useless doctors and useless medicines for real diseases. real anxiety. Many are forced to become their own doctors to some degree.

I am so sorry. But, glad you found us. May you find all you need herein.

[cutstack]

Thank you for the kind responses everyone. I sadly have come across too many dr's who arent helpful. At this point, I am just happy to have one that writes me a drop of what I need and then I supplement it with IOP purchases. I have come across dr's who just want to push ssri's like crazy and I explain to them that perhaps I would try them had I not known 2 people in real life who forever are destroyed by those meds. I just cant bring myself to accept an ssri. I have been tempted. Viibryd is one that I am really hoping to find out more about. It's so sad because I am a good looking guy. I have decent genetics in the sense that I go to the gym and my body develops rapidly etc. and I get results. It's so tragic that my anxiety, insomnia and depression doesn't allow me to live life like a normal human. I often just am too anxious to enjoy the things that normal people do. My insomnia is just as bad as anyone on earths. Can't imagine someone having it worse. If not for some form of benzo or benzo type sleep aid, I would never get a single moment of sleep. I wish I could live without taking a pill. It's impossible. I believe my parents are sadly the cause of my problems. I wasnt raised in the best of conditions and now I have to deal with the aftermath on my own.

[Goyakla1]

I know how u feel..have the same problems for years. But im now taking Mitrazapin before bed and imo it do help both with sleep and the other stuff...so dont give up. Im NOT a doc but i would give Mitraszapin a try. Just remember it takes about 8 to 10 days to kick in. Take Care.

[Pineapplepen]

I tried Viibryd. I didn't find it very effective. Just my experience. I have heard it work for other folks though. As previous poster said don't give up. I haven't I think we have found a great group of people here to network and brainstorm with. Good luck.

[Junia]

Cutstack....Hello!

Depression and anxiety are topics I wish none of us ever had to become familiar with. I don't doubt that anyone battling a serious desease feels like no one can really understand.  But, with depression, no one can really understand. 

I have spent the first third of my life unaware of why life was often so dark and hopeless, the next third, keeping it a secret because of the stigma attached to "mental illness" and this part of my life, trying to speak openly about it.  I can't tell you how many times people have said things like - just pull yourself up by your bootstraps or it's mind over matter or what do mean you can't get out of bed?  You just do it!  And the meds.  I call it the medication merry-go-round. First you try the grey horse, now higher on grey and straddle the white. Now higher on white and lower the grey. And reach out with one hand on the black. Never ending. The reality is the Psych Docs only know what the pharm rep tells them in their brief 10 minute spiel. And then there are the side effects.  And insomnia. And heavy poundage weight gain.

Oh....I hope I'm not depressing you with that rant.  I just really wanted you to know.... I understand and am here for you if you need to talk, ask questions, compare notes and even laugh at ourselves  

Talk to you sometime soon!

Junia

[Rose5555]

Hi Cutstack, welcome, it's good to meet you. I am sorry to hear about your insomnia problems; I hope you find something that works for you very soon.
As with Goyakla, above, I take Mirtazapine, an anti-depressant, to help my chronic insomnia. It has been utterly brilliant for me. I sleep so deeply and fully most of the time now, which is a huge improvement for me and one I never thought would be possible. I don't believe it is an SSRI. It might be worth asking your doctor about it for you.

[Orange rabbit]

Welcome! You will find your way here. There are wonderful people that really do understand what you are experiencing. Stay strong, read the rules and reach out. We are all here to help.
And by the way, I haven't been here long, and I feel like I have hundreds of family members even though I haven't even exchanged posts with most of them. Good Luck!

OR

[IceWizard]

CutSack welcome to our wee forum... You'll find almost any affliction known to man here... You are amongst friends... We are here to help folks just like me.. You... And the rest of us... Together we stand strong, while on our own, that's the way we feel... On our own...

Please feel free to ask if you need any help or just a place to vent flustrations.... That's why we exist here... Just go over the rules as we do try and protect those here from mainly theirselves....

Lookin foward to reading your posts...

Ice