07-18-2021, 02:26 PM
The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony.
"You know you’re past your prime," she said,
"When you hurt all over and all you rode
was the massage chair."
**********
At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower.
"This thing is great," he bragged to my brother.
"It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn.
It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!"
**********
My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me he'd
drunk more than usual the day before.
"What's more than usual?" I asked.
"A case."
"You can drink a case in a day?!"
"Well," he grumbled defensively,
"it doesn't take all day."
**********
When the new activities director for the rec center walked in,
all us retirees quickly took notice.
She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous.
My buddy whispered,
“She makes me wish I was 30 years older.”
“Don’t you mean 30 years younger?”
I asked.
“No. If I were 30 years younger,
I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that.
If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much!”
"You know you’re past your prime," she said,
"When you hurt all over and all you rode
was the massage chair."
**********
At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower.
"This thing is great," he bragged to my brother.
"It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn.
It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!"
**********
My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me he'd
drunk more than usual the day before.
"What's more than usual?" I asked.
"A case."
"You can drink a case in a day?!"
"Well," he grumbled defensively,
"it doesn't take all day."
**********
When the new activities director for the rec center walked in,
all us retirees quickly took notice.
She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous.
My buddy whispered,
“She makes me wish I was 30 years older.”
“Don’t you mean 30 years younger?”
I asked.
“No. If I were 30 years younger,
I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that.
If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much!”
Semper Fidelis
USMC
USMC
Nemo me impune lacessit