Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Every Sunday a preacher at a small country church tried to make the Bible
accessible to his congregation via his sermons.

He would say:
"If you ever feel adrift in the sea of life, just turn to the Bible for guidance.
All of life’s experiences are immortalized in the good book."

After one week’s service, a woman went up to the preacher and said:
"I don’t think every life experience is mentioned in the Bible.
Nowhere in the Bible have I read about PMS."

The preacher promised to investigate, and the following Sunday
he told the woman that he had indeed found a passage in the
Bible about PMS.

It read:
"And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem."


**********



Paddy and Mick were walking home after a drunken night on the town.
They had no money for a taxi and were staggering around aimlessly
when they found themselves outside the bus depot.

Suddenly Paddy had a brainwave and said to Mick:
"Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home.
I’ll wait out here and keep a lookout for the police."

So Mick went in, but twenty minutes later there was
still no sign of him.

Mystified as to what was going on,
Paddy poked his head around the door and saw Mick running
from bus to bus, looking extremely worried.

"What the hell are you doing?"
asked Paddy.
"Get a move on!"

"I can’t find a number 7 anywhere, Paddy!"

Paddy threw up his hands in disbelief.
"Just how stupid are you, Mick?
For Chripe’s sake, steal a number 9,
and we’ll get off at the roundabout
and walk the rest of the way!"