05-31-2017, 08:17 AM
I don't share much personal information. I feel however, I want to. I feel OCD - not the type of ODC that has to turn things a certain number of times or something bad will happen but the type of OCD where if i cannot do something perfectly, I won't even start it at all.
I feel this way about cleaning, about money and most painfully relationships. It's destroyed a few deep and meaningful relationships. I've also projected this need for perfection onto my partners.
I have found something that really helped me recently and I wanted to share it here. I found it through a metaphysical spiritualist that I was working with to get through some rather crippling anxiety and agoraphobia (I'm still working on it). My goal is to get 1% better every day.
It's called "The Work" and there is the whole bunch of stuff you can do for free, some workshops you can pay for lead by local facilitators and used by therapists and of course, the creator sells books - at least one.
But there is a lot for free. I started it. I didn't continue. Life got in the way. I found myself unemployed and about to be homeless and well, this sent me back into a panicked perfectionist mentality. I was wondering if anyone here is interested in sharing experiences with "The Work" with me?
This was recommend to me as a means to get through crippling panic attacks and it really was making an impact. It starts with a worksheet. I saw "neighbor" as a boyfriend, a sibling, a child or a parent - someone important to you. It can also be yourself when I think about it as we judge ourselves.
http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloa...ksheet.pdf
Next step was the 4 questions:
Ask the Four Questions
Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet using the four questions. The Work is meditation. It’s about opening to your heart, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then go inside and wait for the deeper answers to surface.
Find the Turnarounds
The original statement, Paul doesn’t listen to me, when turned around, becomes “I don’t listen to myself.” Is that turnaround as true or truer? Now identify examples of how you don’t listen to yourself in that very same situation with Paul. Find at least three specific, genuine examples of how this turnaround is true. For me, one example is that in that situation I was out of control emotionally, and my heart was racing.
Another turnaround is “I don’t listen to Paul.” Find at least three examples of how you were not listening to Paul, from his perspective, in that situation. Are you listening to Paul when you’re thinking about him not listening to you?
A third turnaround is “Paul does listen to me.” For example, he put out the cigarette he was smoking. He might light another one in five minutes, but in that situation, even as he was telling me that he didn’t care about his health, he was apparently listening to me. For this and for each turnaround you discover, always find at least three specific, genuine examples of how the turnaround is true for you in this situation.
I realize this is a long post - it's mostly written here because I read about CoiledSpring looking to cut some alcohol from her life and find another tool to help appease anxiety and panic. At the time she/he joined up, I wasn't in a place to reach out with this detail. I've made some progress and wanted to share.
If anyone is interested in the direct website with all of the free materials, it's easy to find. I have honestly found only the items I brought here to be of value. It can bring up a lot of feelings but I think for me, that's how I break patterns. I'm fighting some demons at the moment and what better place to share knowledge than here. If anyone is interested in working on "the work" with me and discussing outcomes, pitfalls, good, bad, ugly, I just hope you'll post here - we can be each others break in the work!
I feel this way about cleaning, about money and most painfully relationships. It's destroyed a few deep and meaningful relationships. I've also projected this need for perfection onto my partners.
I have found something that really helped me recently and I wanted to share it here. I found it through a metaphysical spiritualist that I was working with to get through some rather crippling anxiety and agoraphobia (I'm still working on it). My goal is to get 1% better every day.
It's called "The Work" and there is the whole bunch of stuff you can do for free, some workshops you can pay for lead by local facilitators and used by therapists and of course, the creator sells books - at least one.
But there is a lot for free. I started it. I didn't continue. Life got in the way. I found myself unemployed and about to be homeless and well, this sent me back into a panicked perfectionist mentality. I was wondering if anyone here is interested in sharing experiences with "The Work" with me?
This was recommend to me as a means to get through crippling panic attacks and it really was making an impact. It starts with a worksheet. I saw "neighbor" as a boyfriend, a sibling, a child or a parent - someone important to you. It can also be yourself when I think about it as we judge ourselves.
http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloa...ksheet.pdf
Next step was the 4 questions:
Ask the Four Questions
Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet using the four questions. The Work is meditation. It’s about opening to your heart, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then go inside and wait for the deeper answers to surface.
- Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
- Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Find the Turnarounds
The original statement, Paul doesn’t listen to me, when turned around, becomes “I don’t listen to myself.” Is that turnaround as true or truer? Now identify examples of how you don’t listen to yourself in that very same situation with Paul. Find at least three specific, genuine examples of how this turnaround is true. For me, one example is that in that situation I was out of control emotionally, and my heart was racing.
Another turnaround is “I don’t listen to Paul.” Find at least three examples of how you were not listening to Paul, from his perspective, in that situation. Are you listening to Paul when you’re thinking about him not listening to you?
A third turnaround is “Paul does listen to me.” For example, he put out the cigarette he was smoking. He might light another one in five minutes, but in that situation, even as he was telling me that he didn’t care about his health, he was apparently listening to me. For this and for each turnaround you discover, always find at least three specific, genuine examples of how the turnaround is true for you in this situation.
I realize this is a long post - it's mostly written here because I read about CoiledSpring looking to cut some alcohol from her life and find another tool to help appease anxiety and panic. At the time she/he joined up, I wasn't in a place to reach out with this detail. I've made some progress and wanted to share.
If anyone is interested in the direct website with all of the free materials, it's easy to find. I have honestly found only the items I brought here to be of value. It can bring up a lot of feelings but I think for me, that's how I break patterns. I'm fighting some demons at the moment and what better place to share knowledge than here. If anyone is interested in working on "the work" with me and discussing outcomes, pitfalls, good, bad, ugly, I just hope you'll post here - we can be each others break in the work!
