08-25-2021, 03:16 AM
I`m not so much scared to post but some times i sit here and read over so many posts and then worry about posting in case someone reply`s to my post and i miss their reply. I feel bad about that and this makes me not wanna post most of the time.
Plus there is so many posts that i wanna reply to but i will start typing and it takes me almost 1 hour to make a post and before i actually hit the "post reply" button, i will just delete everything i typed in. Don`t know why i do this but it`s the same in my real life I have pushed everyone out of my life and i never answer my phone when my friends would ring. I pretty much just wanna talk to no one and be by myself all the time now, It`s pretty sad that it has been probably 9 months now that i have been completely alone. I have not talked to a single friend in almost a year now i know it`s because of my anxiety.
Some people have no idea how bad anxiety can get when you have it for 10 years, everyday for me is exactly the same, i don`t live my life anymore i just exist. It is so depressing waking up every day you don`t wanna get up, you don`t wanna move , everyday i wonder what is the point of even being on this earth anymore and it has nothing to do with covid I have been this way long before covid started. see i almost am about to just delete all this crap i wrote but stuff it i`m just going to post it.
Plus there is so many posts that i wanna reply to but i will start typing and it takes me almost 1 hour to make a post and before i actually hit the "post reply" button, i will just delete everything i typed in. Don`t know why i do this but it`s the same in my real life I have pushed everyone out of my life and i never answer my phone when my friends would ring. I pretty much just wanna talk to no one and be by myself all the time now, It`s pretty sad that it has been probably 9 months now that i have been completely alone. I have not talked to a single friend in almost a year now i know it`s because of my anxiety.
Some people have no idea how bad anxiety can get when you have it for 10 years, everyday for me is exactly the same, i don`t live my life anymore i just exist. It is so depressing waking up every day you don`t wanna get up, you don`t wanna move , everyday i wonder what is the point of even being on this earth anymore and it has nothing to do with covid I have been this way long before covid started. see i almost am about to just delete all this crap i wrote but stuff it i`m just going to post it.