09-24-2019, 08:47 PM
I have been feeling very anxious these past few days. I am not certain that there is any advice that will reduce my anxiety, but just talking about it may help.
I am anxious for a few reasons. One reason is the financial stress I am under from medical bills. Another is that the Jewish High Holidays are coming up, and they always make me anxious. But the third reason, ironically, is that I am anxious about seeing a psychiatrist. I have been trying to see a psychiatrist for almost three years, but could not find one that took Medicaid and in my state, physicians cannot accept any money from patients on Medicaid. Now, am on MediCARE not MedicAID. I can't find a psychiatrist who takes Medicare, either. But, now I am allowed to pay a psychiatrist money out-of-pocket. I finally found a psychiatrist who is taking new patients. (He does not take insurance at all, so I am paying completely out-of-pocket.)
The main reason I am seeing a psychiatrist is that I have horrific insomnia and want a prescription. I have asked psychiatrists twice before for Ambien, and they both agreed it was a good medication for me and gave me a prescription. I suspect this psychiatrist will, too -- I told him I wanted Ambien, and he says it is something he does prescribe for some patients. But, I am still worried that he may not. There is an enormous construction project going on across the street and it is expected to continue for a full year. Construction starts six days a week at 7 am, but sometimes they are working at 2 or 3 am even though that is against noise ordinances. (And it is a project by the city housing department, the same government who made the noise rules, sheesh.) Since I sleep better during the day than at night, and now I can't sleep during the day, I am extremely sleep deprived. Being sleep deprived makes me very anxious and talkative. (Which maybe you can tell.) Now only does this make it harder to sleep, I also worry that I am becoming bipolar. I am afraid when I see the psychiatrist, he will tell me that yes, I am bipolar. (Although I probably am not bipolar -- every time I catch up on my sleep, I am no longer hyped up.)
Wow, the construction noise right now is really bad.
I also have a very severe physical illness (my liver is failing from a combination of immune and hormonal problems -- no alcohol). Like many people with liver failure, I am often too exhausted to get out of bed. I am worried that when the psychiatry appointment finally arrives, after trying to see a psychiatrist for three years I will be too physically ill to go.
There is really nothing I or anyone can do about this. The psychiatry appointment is the day after tomorrow. I will simply have to wait it out and hope for the best. But, I don't feel I can let my friends know that I am in such bad shape. So, being able to tell some anonymously is good. If you are reading this and have anything supportive to say, thank you.
I am anxious for a few reasons. One reason is the financial stress I am under from medical bills. Another is that the Jewish High Holidays are coming up, and they always make me anxious. But the third reason, ironically, is that I am anxious about seeing a psychiatrist. I have been trying to see a psychiatrist for almost three years, but could not find one that took Medicaid and in my state, physicians cannot accept any money from patients on Medicaid. Now, am on MediCARE not MedicAID. I can't find a psychiatrist who takes Medicare, either. But, now I am allowed to pay a psychiatrist money out-of-pocket. I finally found a psychiatrist who is taking new patients. (He does not take insurance at all, so I am paying completely out-of-pocket.)
The main reason I am seeing a psychiatrist is that I have horrific insomnia and want a prescription. I have asked psychiatrists twice before for Ambien, and they both agreed it was a good medication for me and gave me a prescription. I suspect this psychiatrist will, too -- I told him I wanted Ambien, and he says it is something he does prescribe for some patients. But, I am still worried that he may not. There is an enormous construction project going on across the street and it is expected to continue for a full year. Construction starts six days a week at 7 am, but sometimes they are working at 2 or 3 am even though that is against noise ordinances. (And it is a project by the city housing department, the same government who made the noise rules, sheesh.) Since I sleep better during the day than at night, and now I can't sleep during the day, I am extremely sleep deprived. Being sleep deprived makes me very anxious and talkative. (Which maybe you can tell.) Now only does this make it harder to sleep, I also worry that I am becoming bipolar. I am afraid when I see the psychiatrist, he will tell me that yes, I am bipolar. (Although I probably am not bipolar -- every time I catch up on my sleep, I am no longer hyped up.)
Wow, the construction noise right now is really bad.
I also have a very severe physical illness (my liver is failing from a combination of immune and hormonal problems -- no alcohol). Like many people with liver failure, I am often too exhausted to get out of bed. I am worried that when the psychiatry appointment finally arrives, after trying to see a psychiatrist for three years I will be too physically ill to go.
There is really nothing I or anyone can do about this. The psychiatry appointment is the day after tomorrow. I will simply have to wait it out and hope for the best. But, I don't feel I can let my friends know that I am in such bad shape. So, being able to tell some anonymously is good. If you are reading this and have anything supportive to say, thank you.
