Hi,
I was referred here through the grapevines, not really, by a friend of mine on another forum where I am mods on. It is of similar nature of this but very different also. I'm the kind of guy who got his BSc in Pharmacology by the skin of his teeth and abandoned my Master's after one year, I was sick of school. In hindsight, I should have stayed. I'm also french Canadian, I'm practically bilingual, but rarely I will write a line that doesn't read well, but it's rare, I'm proud of being bilingual in a city where 99% of the population speaks french. It's one of the last metro areas in Canada (we have a bus system due to how large the territory is despite the under 200k population, tucked in up north.
I've got a series of maladies, some diagnosed, some suspected. Insomnia/delayed onset sleep syndrome (the kind of person who has problem going to bed at 10am, hell even 1 am without medication. I feel naturally tired when the sun starts to rise. Some endocrine problems created by Methadone (Metadol brand) I was scripted for pain a 10mg in the morning, another in the evening. It worked well, but was nowhere what I wanted, it made gain 100 pounds in 11 months, which I only lost 15-20 of and I stopped it in september 2013. I've been on and off government disability due to my knees being destroyed in my late 20's when I stopped playing hockey, I was in a Midget AAA team, which is the second high-rated league for guys who are 16-18, then I was drafted by QMJHL (major junior league, part of the CHL, that also contains the OHL and the WHL, the best of all 3 leagues face themselves for the Memorial cup). I did really good in Midget AAA, finished 1st in total points of my team, who gave me a salary since, it's not like the US where there's college leagues and all that. If you played Midget AAA, you couldn't go to school, always travelling by bus, at least all expenses were paid + we had a small salary on top. In the QMJHL, I was drafted by a team way far from my hometown, I went to their training camp, I hated the coach when I first even saw him, he didn't even talk yet and I knew that was a blowhard, ex lieutenant-colonel, so not surprising. I had a year where I was paid 20k a year with that team where I put all my bets, but I only played 30 games out of 67 and then I quit. I started again later in those semi-pro leagues for people who did not have the chance to be drafted by the next step, which is the NHL, after you're 20 years old, you can't play in any CHL league, I only played one when I was 18 after those 2 great Midget AAA seasons.
Anyway, after 6 years or so of college plus those 25 games seasons in the local semi-pro league (which paid a little, luckily enough, but less than the Major Junior league of course), I started getting bad anxiety attacks seemingly out of nowhere, and I got an official GAD with agoraphobia diagnosis, where I'm scripted benzos but nearly enough (or maybe not the amount of pills, but the strength is too low). So I live with a kind of tolerance withdrawal from benzos which is why I do what I can to source some online, designer ones or rx ones, I've only bought rx ones once, because I was unable through many search engines to find out which were actually not scams, and I'm a member of a site solely dedicated to have people rate vendors and write in their experiences, good or bad. Right now my health is not really optimal, like I said, there is some stuff still under investigation. The problem methadone gave me (the weight gain) and what the current painkiller I am prescribed still messes with a bit, low testosterone was found out. So I used Delatestryl for about 6 months and then I started to get painful lumps and develop a small case of gynecomastia, the hard lumpy and fibrous it seems were treated with an anti-estrogen med, primarily used for breast cancer, but also used for people with low T who develops that problem (apparently when T rises, so does oestrogen). Multiple ultrasounds, one CT scan didn't say it was likely cancerous, and the Anastrazole removed almost all lumps, and the 1 that remained was no longer painful.
Now, it's been a year since I stopped taking Delatestryl subcutaneous shots once a week, I'm having a bout of painful lumps again around and under my nipples. I'm pretty scared as to what this means. I'm seeing my GP very soon in a week exactly. I want them to take a biopsy. I started taking another anti-oestrogen he had scripted me, but by then I had switched pain medication, which still lowered my T levels below normal, but 50% less so than Methadone. So I stopped using Delatestryl knowing its what caused this whole thing. But now, I'm not having any added testosterone, so like I said, I've been taking Tamoxifen to get rid of those painful cysts, I read pubmed studies and I could just take 10mg for 15 days and be rid of the things. But that stuff makes me feel a kind of upper chest wall/collar bone area pressure like if someone was pushing me there. A reason why I had asked to stop the Anastrazole after a year, that it made me have chest tightness, and all of my doctors visit indicate a high pulse (120+) even at rest. I quit smoking cigarettes 2 year 1/2 ago, I only smoked for 7 years, but I could feel it being nefarious to me by the last 6 months I was still using.
Thankfully, I have no financial problems and my old lady (heh, she's late 20's), I say that because we never married, but the law makes it so it's like if we were married since living together for wow..14 years now.
I'm glad to have been referred, and I know the rules perfectly now...that first post of mine...I made it when I was still groggy, I always need caffeine of some sort to get out of that not-there feeling. I know the rules now and will be following them as judiciously as I do in that other forum where I am mod at, no I won't say where that is.
I was referred here through the grapevines, not really, by a friend of mine on another forum where I am mods on. It is of similar nature of this but very different also. I'm the kind of guy who got his BSc in Pharmacology by the skin of his teeth and abandoned my Master's after one year, I was sick of school. In hindsight, I should have stayed. I'm also french Canadian, I'm practically bilingual, but rarely I will write a line that doesn't read well, but it's rare, I'm proud of being bilingual in a city where 99% of the population speaks french. It's one of the last metro areas in Canada (we have a bus system due to how large the territory is despite the under 200k population, tucked in up north.
I've got a series of maladies, some diagnosed, some suspected. Insomnia/delayed onset sleep syndrome (the kind of person who has problem going to bed at 10am, hell even 1 am without medication. I feel naturally tired when the sun starts to rise. Some endocrine problems created by Methadone (Metadol brand) I was scripted for pain a 10mg in the morning, another in the evening. It worked well, but was nowhere what I wanted, it made gain 100 pounds in 11 months, which I only lost 15-20 of and I stopped it in september 2013. I've been on and off government disability due to my knees being destroyed in my late 20's when I stopped playing hockey, I was in a Midget AAA team, which is the second high-rated league for guys who are 16-18, then I was drafted by QMJHL (major junior league, part of the CHL, that also contains the OHL and the WHL, the best of all 3 leagues face themselves for the Memorial cup). I did really good in Midget AAA, finished 1st in total points of my team, who gave me a salary since, it's not like the US where there's college leagues and all that. If you played Midget AAA, you couldn't go to school, always travelling by bus, at least all expenses were paid + we had a small salary on top. In the QMJHL, I was drafted by a team way far from my hometown, I went to their training camp, I hated the coach when I first even saw him, he didn't even talk yet and I knew that was a blowhard, ex lieutenant-colonel, so not surprising. I had a year where I was paid 20k a year with that team where I put all my bets, but I only played 30 games out of 67 and then I quit. I started again later in those semi-pro leagues for people who did not have the chance to be drafted by the next step, which is the NHL, after you're 20 years old, you can't play in any CHL league, I only played one when I was 18 after those 2 great Midget AAA seasons.
Anyway, after 6 years or so of college plus those 25 games seasons in the local semi-pro league (which paid a little, luckily enough, but less than the Major Junior league of course), I started getting bad anxiety attacks seemingly out of nowhere, and I got an official GAD with agoraphobia diagnosis, where I'm scripted benzos but nearly enough (or maybe not the amount of pills, but the strength is too low). So I live with a kind of tolerance withdrawal from benzos which is why I do what I can to source some online, designer ones or rx ones, I've only bought rx ones once, because I was unable through many search engines to find out which were actually not scams, and I'm a member of a site solely dedicated to have people rate vendors and write in their experiences, good or bad. Right now my health is not really optimal, like I said, there is some stuff still under investigation. The problem methadone gave me (the weight gain) and what the current painkiller I am prescribed still messes with a bit, low testosterone was found out. So I used Delatestryl for about 6 months and then I started to get painful lumps and develop a small case of gynecomastia, the hard lumpy and fibrous it seems were treated with an anti-estrogen med, primarily used for breast cancer, but also used for people with low T who develops that problem (apparently when T rises, so does oestrogen). Multiple ultrasounds, one CT scan didn't say it was likely cancerous, and the Anastrazole removed almost all lumps, and the 1 that remained was no longer painful.
Now, it's been a year since I stopped taking Delatestryl subcutaneous shots once a week, I'm having a bout of painful lumps again around and under my nipples. I'm pretty scared as to what this means. I'm seeing my GP very soon in a week exactly. I want them to take a biopsy. I started taking another anti-oestrogen he had scripted me, but by then I had switched pain medication, which still lowered my T levels below normal, but 50% less so than Methadone. So I stopped using Delatestryl knowing its what caused this whole thing. But now, I'm not having any added testosterone, so like I said, I've been taking Tamoxifen to get rid of those painful cysts, I read pubmed studies and I could just take 10mg for 15 days and be rid of the things. But that stuff makes me feel a kind of upper chest wall/collar bone area pressure like if someone was pushing me there. A reason why I had asked to stop the Anastrazole after a year, that it made me have chest tightness, and all of my doctors visit indicate a high pulse (120+) even at rest. I quit smoking cigarettes 2 year 1/2 ago, I only smoked for 7 years, but I could feel it being nefarious to me by the last 6 months I was still using.
Thankfully, I have no financial problems and my old lady (heh, she's late 20's), I say that because we never married, but the law makes it so it's like if we were married since living together for wow..14 years now.
I'm glad to have been referred, and I know the rules perfectly now...that first post of mine...I made it when I was still groggy, I always need caffeine of some sort to get out of that not-there feeling. I know the rules now and will be following them as judiciously as I do in that other forum where I am mod at, no I won't say where that is.
It is Well with My Soul 
![[Image: SyAa0qj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/SyAa0qj.png)
