PTSD and Me

[Furyan66]

Sending some positive vibes and wishes your way. I understand c-ptsd all too well.

Thanks for the positive vibes can take all of those I can get. Been a rough month hoping for things to settle down soon.

All have blessed day..

[Furyan66]

Hey All,

Just a chiming in here.  I have not been as as active posting or reading, just lurking a bit...

Been a Very Tough month trying to keep any positive flow going at all.

After the passing of my uncle and then finding out I will be loosing my job between now and March 30, 2018. Just Wonderful.

(My sarcastic voice) LoL.

Damn what a month, June has got to roll in better...

Working on getting mentally mellowed out

I'll tell you what I consider myself a mentally strong person but I can see how PTSD can really mess you up if you don't find a way to manage it. And every persons situation is unique and you have to find your own way to manage PTSD

Oh and a Thanks to several people who have PM'd me especially Dancing Wolf with some awesome information.

Peace all

[Furyan66]

Man for the last 6 weeks or so this is one of those Storms where this PTSD, Stress, anxiety and all the other little goodies that go along with it is just a kicking my azz.. Wanna crawl into a corner and just die.

I have not been able to get motivated to do anything but am forcing myself to do daily necessities.

Feeling claustrophobic again and I feel like I just need to take off someplace, escape, just pick up run and go.. But there is no place to go.

The other option is just not to leave the bed put some music on, meditate and try to re focus my mind.

The  Anxiety and panic attacks which are the worst, if I let them get the best of me I actually will start to have seizures.

Just glad over the years I learned to kind of feel the seizures coming on and learned ways to calm myself and manage my condition best I can.

Just need the damn voices inside my head to be quiet when I sleep the few hours I do. You feel like your body might catch couple hours sleep but your mind never reset..

Anyway just wanted to get this out of my system and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

Peace All

Note : Storms are what I call my more intense panic attacks that last long periods of time.

[Charon]

I hope today is being a better day for u fury. If u want to talk just PM me. I have no wisdom, just am a friend willing to listen.

I cannot imagine how awful these attacks are. But, I know what all those feelings coming up can do to a body.

I am so sorry.

Praying today is the beginning of the end of these panic storms. Hang in there, fury. No one deserves PTSD. No one.

[Furyan66]

I hope today is being a better day for u fury.  If u want to talk just PM me.  I have no wisdom, just am a friend willing to listen.

I cannot imagine how awful these attacks are.  But, I know what all those feelings coming up can do to a body.

I am so sorry.

Praying today is the beginning of the end of these panic storms.  Hang in there, fury. No one deserves PTSD.  No one.

Thanks Charon, I do appreciate the offer to PM and one day maybe...
I always try and play the tough guy whose going to fight his way through it.

On the downward side of the roller coaster ride to where I at least feeling like posting again and feeling normal again when out involved in social situations will just keep it slow and steady..

[Pineapplepen]

Fury are you taking any medication for your diagnosis? I know Prazocin helped me immensely when i needed it. Sending love and light your way. PTSD is devastating.
Maybe look into some emdr therapy too, I have heard it's A very useful tool in combating ptsd

[Furyan66]

Thanks all.  I have not been as active posting but as I call it "the demons came back". Thats what I all it when my PTSD goes into overload. All the mood swings associated with  PTSD have really been kicking my ass for the last 6 weeks or so.
I have been able to do about the bare minimum like force myself to go to work (damn bills) but I spent many days in bed straight on the weekend, not eating and even ignoring text messages and phone calls. Thats what PTSD will do to you. It takes your hope and will away from you to wanna do anything.
It's something that's always with me and I'm always having to fight it. This time I must say  I have been having one hell of a time getting back into a positive mood.
PTSD will make you cry and just wanna curl up in a corner and die.
It Will take all of your willpower away from you to the point where you have to force yourself to do things that would normally be ordinary daily tasks.
Getting out Off bed, taking a shower hell just putting your shoes on all become major events.
Hell I stayed in bed for 2 days straight and did not even eat just because this thing takes so much energy out of you. It makes you frankly just don't care.

I feel like I'm finally starting to snap out of this last episode otherwise I wouldn't be making in this post.

I've was officially diagnosed with PTSD in 2010  but believe I actually have been suffering from it longer.

My PTSD according to my psychologist stems from two back to back nasty divorces in what I call the decade of hell. From 2000 to June 2009 and I ended
up in the hospital for 10 days and major seizures.

I have learned to manage this best I can but everyone is different and you gotta find your own route of treatment. Only your own body can tell you how you feel.
Doctor's are just making an "evaluation"

My heart goes out to all the veterans (GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE) out there and suffer from PTSD. I think it's safe to say it's got to
be worse with what they went through than me going through two divorces so sometimes I feel like I got no right to complain about anything.

Life goes on and I still believe it os a gift but damn sometimes you sure get your resolve tested by the powers at be.

Peace all and have a blessed day

[Furyan66]

Hi Furyan66,

Glad you are posting and interacting with us.  

2 nasty divorces and the decade of hell sounds brutal.  My younger sis is wrapping up her divorce and she is in so much pain.  Her DH of 33 years walked out right b4 xmas.  He has been so mean to her and she is crushed.  

During mediation, she agreed to probably not the best deal just to have it all over with.  She is now regretting that she didn't hold out for more $ or any kind of spousal support.

When I spoke with her yesterday, I reminded her that she chose to accept the initial offer because she simply wanted it to be over.  That she valued her mental and physical health more than a few more bucks.

Not really sure where I am going with this.  Probably just that I know from my little sister how horrible that process can be.

Hang in there,

Fire

Thanks Fire I am a tough ol SOB so I will get through it.  With my first divorce it did involve my 2 year old daughter and when we split my ex took my daughter with her and moved 350 miles away (but in the same state so I could not stop her).

After all of it was over my psychologist came to the conclusion that the traumatic event that actually triggered my PTSD was not all the stress and crap I went through from the decade from hell with the 2 divorces, but the fact that my little girl that I helped raise for 2 1/2 years was taken away and I would never get the chance to be a full time father to her. Basically he told me it broke my heart and I am here to tell you time does NOT heal all wounds...

That was back kin 2001 and it still hurts as much today


But I have learned how to manage my condition so at least I am not having seizures all the time any more. Can't say I am happy but I am dealing and seeing a lot of the problems others have to deal with makes me think sometimes  have no reason to complain..

Peace All

[Pineapplepen]

You know what I find helps a lot with mine is self care.  Making sure I take time out from the TV social media and electronic devices. To read a book or relax with the bath or Journal that helps quite a bit.  I know it affects everybody differently but that's what helps with me just in case you hadn't thought of any of those things.  I also go to talk therapy have you tried that?

You are in my prayers and my thoughts let's hope that July is a better month for you.  Sending many blessings your way.

[Furyan66]

You know what I find helps a lot with mine is self care.  Making sure I take time out from the TV social media and electronic devices. To read a book or relax with the bath or Journal that helps quite a bit.  I know it affects everybody differently but that's what helps with me just in case you hadn't thought of any of those things.  I also go to talk therapy have you tried that?

You are in my prayers and my thoughts let's hope that July is a better month for you.  Sending many blessings your way.

Thanks my friend....

I find it to be a different battle every day. Learning how to calm my mind, control my thoughts through meditation and getting outdoors for a long walk or something and you are right about getting away from the social media. It's just a constant battle and I thank you for your blessings..

Peace