clonazepam 2mg

[Lockes]

I would have to agree with this entire thread. My doc way back said that I sometimes had manic tendencies....like I didn't already know : ) He prescribed Xanax and I told him I felt like one of those guys that gets shot out of canon into a net at a fair. Then he put me on 2mg of clonazepam, I told him those thoughts completely stopped which we both agreed was a good thing : )

Then like Andy above, I cut back to 1mg, but for me it was twice a day...this worked for me.
Hope everything is going well : )
Lockes

[Muzicatty]

I think at one time or another I have tried all of the Benzos. I have a love-hate relationship with Clonazepam, but have been on it for over a decade. I think it affects everyone different, as do most medications, but tapering off of it from 4mg after 8 years was the worst experience of my life. I had previously tapered off of 1-2mg with no problem. With the higher dosage, which was required to keep the panic attacks at bay and help with an insomnia problem that I have had for decades, I worked with an M.D., who was an addiction specialist, and it took 8 months to get off following the Ashton Manual. I was completely off of it for a total of 3 months. That was 11 months of no sleep, constant anxiety, an inability to work, paranoia and a whole bunch of other side effects. I remember telling my original prescribing internist how it was affecting my job and life and how I needed to get off of it and his reaction was a surprising "just stop taking it." That's how little most GPs/Internists know about Benzos. You can't just stop.  

Anyway, I'm going to be hypocritical and tell you to avoid this highly addictive drug, although I myself still take it. Like others have said, it keeps me stable and semi-sane. If you haven't started, don't. It is true that you have to keep taking more and more for it to work. There was an article in Vice a couple of years ago that said it was more addictive than heroin, if you can believe that. In my experience, 11 days in Hong Kong without it and stuck in a hotel room by myself, experiencing almost every single side effect that Wikipedia or any other website lists, was torture. Fortunately, I had a friend who was able to get me enough to get back home to the U.S. That was a situation that I never want to be in again, and wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Be well. 

[cmdline]

Muzicatty think by now people who cover benzos or have experienced them would agree they are worst if not impossible to kick meds out there,once you taken any benzos for duration of about a year pretty much your trapped in a routine doesn't matter which benzo it is, side effects are nightmare on all of them the same.Issue is thou alternatives almost dont exist that would work on anxiety that well as benzos do, since dont imagine anyone would take them if there were better solutions,someone with minimal anxiety is something most can get over by doing some relaxation, but if you have constant negative thoughts and fear there's little actual help that will stop them like benzos do.

example ive switched to valium 15mgs down from 40 a day and nowadays i wake up feeling like i cant even breath since scare and panic when awaken is like being in some sort of hell takes me an hour before 10mgs kick in and i calm down,then during day im only semi productive feeling constant fear or mood swings,tired and other handful side effects, that most wouldn't be able to bare.I feel like i could sleep 24hours straight since that's how tired my body is, now im not doing taper just cutting down my intake but even half of usual dosage brings out the worst symptoms since like you ive been taking benzos for almost a decade now and there isnt any alternative or solution at place to replace them,since one could go over 3-4 years on micro taper but for most its catch 22 where you will either get more hooked up,symptoms will become worse as you go or just no one to help you out over such a long period,to sustain cutting dosage by 0.01mg every couple weeks avoiding harsh shock to nervous system.

[Muzicatty]

Hi Cmdline, 

I read your post this morning and wanted to respond, but on less than 60 minutes of sleep last night, I was not sure that I could form a coherent sentence, let alone reply. I'm not sure that this will be any better, but I've had so much caffeine today that I thought I would try.

First of all, my heart goes out to you. Tapering, titrating, whatever, anytime you have to lower your dosage for whatever reason it sucks! I completely understand what you are going through and how you are feeling. You probably feel sick, tired, not like yourself and even the littlest task seems like it takes too much to even try to do. I don't know if you suffer from depression, too, but if you do, you have probably found yourself staying in bed or on the sofa for as long as you can, whenever you can and avoiding people and the things that you use to enjoy doing.

I don't have a lot of experience with Valium, because like Xanax and Temazepam, it never really worked for me. As part of the Ashton taper, you get to a certain point and they swap the Clonazepam for Valium, and not only did it not work, I experienced my first seizure and was hospitalized. From that point on, it was a straight C'pam taper.

So, after my miserable 11 months with panic attacks, insomnia and all the other crap I went through, I found a doctor who did not know just how bad my C'pam addiction had been. At first she tried Lorazepam, which stopped the panic attacks, but did nothing for the insomnia. Eventually, she prescribed Clonazepam 1-3mgs a day as needed. As with any Benzo that you have been on before, most people know that the old dosage is not enough. She agreed to increase it to 3-6mgs/day as needed, and because I was doing a lot of international travel at the time and getting a monthly refills didn't always fit into my schedule, she agreed to prescribe 3 months worth with each refill (580 pills)! I was feeling pretty good in those days, until the State that I live in decided to start tracking prescriptions for Benzos, Opiates, and other commonly abused drugs. At that point, I had to go back to 1-3mgs/day with 90 pills a month. She has been trying to get me off of that for over a year. Little does she know that I am currently taking a much higher dosage than prescribed. So, I get it. Once you are on Benzos, you are pretty much on them for life.       

Ok, so how do I manage this? Obviously, I can't take 8-10/mg a day and work, so I am very lucky that I live in a state where marijuana is legal. At first I got a medical card for insomnia and migraines, and then recreational use made it easier to get. Now, I am not advising you to do this, but for me, I am able to go for about 10-14 days on 2-3/mg at night, along with a piece of an edible cookie or tincture drops in OJ. After that time period, my anxiety is back and so is my insomnia. I have also heard that it can cause paranoia, so it's not a perm solution, just a way for me to manage my health issues. 

So, that's my story. Now, my questions for you. Is there a reason you are titrating now? Is it a case of your Dr. just saying it's time? Is he/she a GP or a psychiatrist? Is the doctor offering another solution/medication? One of the things my doctor has tried to get me to do is go to a psychiatrist, which takes the liability off of her and puts it on another doctor. Nice, eh? There are also doctors with a lot of degrees known as NeuropsychoPharmacologists. They are hard to find and I missed my opportunity to see a highly respected one who practices in NYC, but use to see patients where I live once a month. I am currently on a waiting list to see him at his office in NY, but if you can find a doctor with that kind of knowledge it might just help. You need to find a good one though.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have been through what you are going through, and although I don't have the answers, I am here to talk if you ever want to. Hang tough, be strong and keep the faith. This, too, shall pass, or so I keep telling myself.  

 

[Muzicatty]

Hi Cmdline, 

I read your post this morning and wanted to respond, but on less than 60 minutes of sleep last night, I was not sure that I could form a coherent sentence, let alone reply. I'm not sure that this will be any better, but I've had so much caffeine today that I thought I would try.

First of all, my heart goes out to you. Tapering, titrating, whatever, anytime you have to lower your dosage for whatever reason it sucks! I completely understand what you are going through and how you are feeling. You probably feel sick, tired, not like yourself and even the littlest task seems like it takes too much to even try to do. I don't know if you suffer from depression, too, but if you do, you have probably found yourself staying in bed or on the sofa for as long as you can, whenever you can and avoiding people and the things that you use to enjoy doing.

I don't have a lot of experience with Valium, because like Xanax and Temazepam, it never really worked for me. As part of the Ashton taper, you get to a certain point and they swap the Clonazepam for Valium, and not only did it not work, I experienced my first seizure and was hospitalized. From that point on, it was a straight C'pam taper.

So, after my miserable 11 months with panic attacks, insomnia and all the other crap I went through, I found a doctor who did not know just how bad my C'pam addiction had been. At first she tried Lorazepam, which stopped the panic attacks, but did nothing for the insomnia. Eventually, she prescribed Clonazepam 1-3mgs a day as needed. As with any Benzo that you have been on before, most people know that the old dosage is not enough. She agreed to increase it to 3-6mgs/day as needed, and because I was doing a lot of international travel at the time and getting a monthly refills didn't always fit into my schedule, she agreed to prescribe 3 months worth with each refill (580 pills)! I was feeling pretty good in those days, until the State that I live in decided to start tracking prescriptions for Benzos, Opiates, and other commonly abused drugs. At that point, I had to go back to 1-3mgs/day with 90 pills a month. She has been trying to get me off of that for over a year. Little does she know that I am currently taking a much higher dosage than prescribed. So, I get it. Once you are on Benzos, you are pretty much on them for life.       

Ok, so how do I manage this? Obviously, I can't take 8-10/mg a day and work, so I am very lucky that I live in a state where marijuana is legal. At first I got a medical card for insomnia and migraines, and then recreational use made it easier to get. Now, I am not advising you to do this, but for me, I am able to go for about 10-14 days on 2-3/mg at night, along with a piece of an edible cookie or tincture drops in OJ. After that time period, my anxiety is back and so is my insomnia. I have also heard that it can cause paranoia, so it's not a perm solution, just a way for me to manage my health issues. 

So, that's my story. Now, my questions for you. Is there a reason you are titrating now? Is it a case of your Dr. just saying it's time? Is he/she a GP or a psychiatrist? Is the doctor offering another solution/medication? One of the things my doctor has tried to get me to do is go to a psychiatrist, which takes the liability off of her and puts it on another doctor. Nice, eh? There are also doctors with a lot of degrees known as NeuropsychoPharmacologists. They are hard to find and I missed my opportunity to see a highly respected one who practices in NYC, but use to see patients where I live once a month. I am currently on a waiting list to see him at his office in NY, but if you can find a doctor with that kind of knowledge it might just help. You need to find a good one though.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have been through what you are going through, and although I don't have the answers, I am here to talk if you ever want to. Hang tough, be strong and keep the faith. This, too, shall pass, or so I keep telling myself.  

 

hah I too have found that cannabis helps with anxiety, but for me it has to be a indica dominant strain. The sativas make me paranoid which of course, makes me MORE anxious. lol. I'm not as lucky as you, meaning, being in a state where rec is legal. Shoot, it's still HIGHLY illegal here all together. But, maybe one day all the old farts will die off and some younger folks with different views on cannabis will be in charge. One can only hope...

Yes, indica only. Sativa will give you too much energy and can increase anxiety, or so I have been told.
You never know about your State not legalizing it. It sounds like you might be from the Midwest or South, especially since medical weed isn't even legal. Who would have though Iowa would pass it before California? There are obvious health benefits from it, but kind of like climate change, you always have the naysayers. Also, look at how much money it is bringing into the States. CO is the best example. CA is still the wild wide west with no laws or regulations (they come into effect in 2018), but I do worry that Jeff Sessions and the current administration will criminalize it again. Fortunately, my governor and other members of the State senate and congress are ferociously fighting everything to defend the laws involving Marijuana, LBGTQ, and immigration ("sanctuary cities). I predict a battle looming, but for now I am trying not to think about it. 

Take care.

[cmdline]

Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.

Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.

long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.

did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.

My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.

also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.

one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.

[Tigertail58]

Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.

Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.

long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.

did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.

My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.

also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.

one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.

Okay so in around 30 years ago I found a sympathetic Dr who prescribed diazapam about 20 mg a day for my anxiety, it was very effective for many years but by 24 yrs ago alprazolam was the go to benzo and I have been on about 3 mg a day since then.  I have been to the psychiatrists who all want to put you on those  antidepressants, I really tried but they just don't work for me.  I have a Dr. who writes for lorezapam 2 mg a day but it doesn't work I cannot explain why but it just doesn't so I get my alprazolam from alt sources reluctantly but I would prefer to get it from Walgreens.  Why can't the medical profession see us for what many of us are, people suffering from anxiety without relief.

[Muzicatty]

Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.

Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.

long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.

did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.

My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.

also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.

one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.

Okay so in around 30 years ago I found a sympathetic Dr who prescribed diazapam about 20 mg a day for my anxiety, it was very effective for many years but by 24 yrs ago alprazolam was the go to benzo and I have been on about 3 mg a day since then.  I have been to the psychiatrists who all want to put you on those  antidepressants, I really tried but they just don't work for me.  I have a Dr. who writes for lorezapam 2 mg a day but it doesn't work I cannot explain why but it just doesn't so I get my alprazolam from alt sources reluctantly but I would prefer to get it from Walgreens.  Why can't the medical profession see us for what many of us are, people suffering from anxiety without relief.

That is the biggest question. They do help people, and for some, are the only medications that do. I was put on Escitalopram (trying to break the habit of using brand names, per the rules) and Alprazolem originally. The anti-depressant, which is also supposed to be the best SSRI for anxiety, did nothing, but I still take it to keep my doctor happy although she knows that it alone is not enough. My GP will admit to having patients who were put on "Mother's Little Helper," as they called Alprazolam in the 50's-70's, and she allows them to stay on it (at a low dosage) because she is afraid they may fall and break a hip (as an example) if she takes them off of it. My only guess is that due to the highly addictive nature, doctors are now limiting prescriptions. I know that I was doing business out of town and went to a Costco to get a refill and they refused. Apparently, there were several Costcos in the area that the DEA had cited for filling too many Benzo scripts (probably other types of drugs, too) and they were being watched.

Like you, I know people that have been on various Benzos for decades and it is the only thing that has allowed them to function. The problem is when you are on higher dosages you don't realize how the medication is affecting you. At higher dosages, I have been called out by friends and family members, as well as a former boss. They see a change in my personality that I don't. Also, driving is another issue. I only take my medication at night, but that hasn't stoppped me from hitting the columns outside of my garage or driving over medians the next day. Fortunately, I have never hit another driver, but it's always in the back of my mind that it could happen.

The liability for doctors is too great, which is why I think they are pulling back on prescribing Benzos. I once looked into going to rehab for it, because I was not leaving my apartment for months on end and sleeping 18 hours a day. Only 1 rehab owner who runs a famous clinic in Malibu was honest enough to tell me that he would get me in, but he's had very little success with a Benzo addicts. He said he's had better luck with heroin users than Benzo users due to the way it affects the central nervous system. Having tried to taper several times, I now know exactly what he meant. Even if you are able to get off and stay off, the side effects stay with you for life (and not the 1-3 years they tell you). I think it's partially that fear that keeps us on them, as well as controlling are anxiety.

---

Muzicatty your first paragrapgh basically hit a nail on the head spot on how i feel,depressed angry etc,if i could i would just lie in bed most days,sleep is deprived since awake many times at night thus come day even after 10hours of sleep i feel like i could hit bed any time,come night and im boosted with energy and thoughts running trough my head up till 4 in the morning,thus get snappy easily during the day.

Now dont like sharing on public forum too much but ive never approached any doc in my life about anxiety/panic issues just taboo/ashamed topic.Since after hitting until 18 i brushed off most of the symptoms had good circle of friends social life and it wasn't an issue, high school/college it went down hill just became awkward in social situations, hard to focus on people, becoming agoraphobic in large crowds its like stepping back to being 7 again.

long story short eventually opened up to family, went to counseling which did nothing and hit the internet once i knew what helps with anxiety pretty much away jumped into online and took matters in my own hands, and for first time in life ive managed great for about 5-6 years then as these things go realized im stuck with two issues.Since dont live in states benzos where i am are basically on highest blacklist ER cases,did acquire small amount one time but it was like doc giving me coke it felt for that joke of a blister of 10x0.5 xans.

did try MJ in my years and its great but since its far away from legal you get what you get found it great for sleep but not smth that would work on daily or even weekly basis,thou its only a plant and great to chill when possible.

My cut down is due since im stocking up since im always few months short on supply meaning have always to last me couple months which only makes things harder since you get few weeks break but then you know your pile is running low daily.

also since do contract work whenever i get, so get really stressed so that puts me into situation where i need to up the dosage before i even out, not to mention my family thinks its depression mood swings even thou im past 30 now which is adult stage, since told em years ago but response was get over it, not an option when your brains are wired differently and this $hit runs in the family but relatives cope differently, but its obvious when you see them struggling with simple life tasks,and making it to be like end of the world.

one thing thou that makes me different i knew dangers of going on benzos,now id say its way bigger sacrifice then it seems, but as said alternatives none of them come close.I have respect for people that went to MDs when they first noticed and could, but when im on almost decade been doing it myself its not really and option to seek help even cost wise what i get online seeing any md would be like getting 2 months supply elsewhere minus all the explanations being refereed to handful of psychs etc,seems system is simple if i was shooting up id have no issues getting suboxone or whatever is given to people but with anxiety it seems government thinks meditation is all we need,or better just ignore the issue.Sorry for such rant but thats my story,and until i can help myself on my own terms,seems its only option.

I, too, am not usually a big "sharer," but I find that it helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing. If I ever hit "the magic 50," we can e-mail in private and maybe you will find it easier to talk about. Here are in the U.S., Benzos are becoming extremely more difficult to get, much like it sounds where you live. That's why IOPs and the Dark Net are becoming so popular. The scary thing is that when you get your medications this way, you never know what you are really getting, unless you have a trusted supplier. I remember reading a story awhile back about people getting heroin from Russia that was known as "Krokodil," which contains flesh-eating fillers. Google it and look at the images. That's enough to keep me off of Opiates/Opioids for good. I thought crystal meth was bad, but what that form of heroin does to you is down right scary! 

I feel bad that you live somewhere where there is a stigma attached to needing help for depression and anxiety. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I also believe, as you mentioned, there is a genetic component to it. My brother has battled depression, although not as bad as I have. I think my mother is manic, but she will never own up to it. My grandparents gambled, smoked and drank heavily and I have several great uncles who are alcoholics. Oh, and a cousin who I believe is on crystal meth, although we are not close and her parents would never admit it. All of this is a form of self-medicating. I believe depression is a big part of it. 

I read an article the other day that more Americans are suffering from depression and anxiety than ever before. I'm sure it has a lot to do with our lifestyles, stress, the poisons being put in our food, lack of sleep, lack of high paying jobs and our current political climate. However, I don't think it is just a problem in the U.S. I think it is a problem everywhere.

Ok, so I don't tell many people this, but for 18 months I became so depressed that I became an Agrophobe. I took my clonazepam which helped me sleep up to 18 hours a day (obviously, this was many years ago before I built up a tolerance), had my groceries delivered (which was crazy because I lived across the street from a grocery store) and, like you, only left the house for doctors appointments. I got my prescriptions by mail. I ended up losing everything - my savings, house, car (well, that was due to a car accident), job and professional reputation. It has been a long road back and I am still not where I was, but I'm trying. I still have bad days (I called in sick to work and stayed in bed all day today - not sleeping, of course (like you, I can't shut my mind off to go to sleep), just staring at the ceiling mostly and binge watching "The Americans"). 

You are still exactly right about the fact that if you were shooting up you would get help. Same thing if you were an alcoholic. So, why the stigma surrounding Benzos, depression and anxiety? I think the answer to the Benzo issue is that it is still not fully understood by the medical community and there is no cure once you are on it long term. Whoever finds a solution/cure should win a Nobel Peace Prize.

I get the same thing from my doctor. I'm told to meditate, do yoga, excerise more, take more time for myself, but as a highly stressed type A person with a bad back from years of abusing my body (running 20 miles a day for the heck of it - don't even get me started on that) that is not going to help. My   hope is that by talking to others, like you, we can all help each other and support each other as we get through the issues we are dealing with.

[cmdline]

id add to it but you did cover this topic in depth from our lifestyles out to government's, and how its lagging behind in medical field to understanding how life becomes difficult for someone who suffers constantly,yet it takes us few pills to function normally, but few accidents here and there usually in cases where bunch of drugs are mixed together gets more news world wide then say some drunk people causing destruction daily.Major difference being you can buy alcohol any time of the day and how much you want and no one blinks an eye, mention anxiety and someone in need of help and well as you pointed its easier to put road blocks each year to make it it seems like mass addiction and putting as much pressure to eliminate any possible help then focus on treating it, sounds pretty much like benzo isnt it ? mask the symptoms and focus on what brings in benefit,except mental illness i guess isnt a profitable field.

[Muzicatty]

Yes, I guess I have probably said about everything there is to say, so I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk or someone just to vent to, I'm here. Take care of yourself and keep me posted on how you are doing.