IOPList.Org

POLL:
Most people unimpressed with their 2-week
free trial of the New World Order








A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Institute shows that a majority of Americans
are unimpressed with their 2-week free trial of the New World Order.

“It kinda sucks,” 19-year-old San Diegan Britta Fowler said of the trial.
“I was expecting all this free stuff, which I guess we’re getting, but I didn’t think
that we’d be paying for all that free stuff and I didn’t expect empty store shelves,
house arrest for everyone, and all my friends are losing their jobs.
It’s really lame!”

The free trial, which was touted by CNN and MSNBC, was imposed involuntarily
by Joe Biden executive order.

“Yeah, they’re giving us some of our own money but what good is that if you
can’t spend it on anything you want?” Fowler asked.

“We thought we’d entice the people everywhere into Communist one-world government
with a trial run,” USBS Secretary John Lennon said.
“We thought, hey, it works with Netflix, so it should work with the NWO!”

The federal government worked with the Chinese government and the Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation to launch the coronavirus for the free trial kick-off.

“Everything went well but only a few Karens across the country are really enjoying it.”
Lennon added. “They really revel in telling people to ‘stay the f**k home!’”

“I don’t think I’ll continue with this New World Order stuff after the trial. I kinda like being
able to do stuff with people,” Fowler said.

Kamala sneaks a
‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order in
Biden’s stack of executive orders






(WASHINGTON, DC)—

At one point during the flurry of executive orders signed by President Joe Biden,
he said, “I don’t know what I’m signing here.”

“Just sign it,” his handlers responded, and he signed it.

Unfortunately for Biden, VP Kamala Harris had inserted a “Do Not Resuscitate”
form into the stack of executive orders, making Biden sign his own death warrant.

“It was a very clever move,” political analyst Sam Eagle said of the procedure.
“Most vice presidents try to sneak in a DNR order for the only person standing
between them and ultimate world domination, but Kamala was savvy enough to
get it done on Biden’s first day in office.”

The Harris-Biden administration will now just wait for an untimely accident or Biden
playing with his dog again to knock him out cold and complete the transition to the
communist states of America.

“It was a good run Joe. Good luck with everything,” Eagle added.

BREAKING:
Joe Biden gets stuck sniffing woman
who used Gorilla Glue for hairspray






(BATON ROUGE, LA)—

TikToker Tessica Brown thought she had seen the end of her problems after
uploading a video in which she made the jaw-dropping revelation that she put
the glue product marketed as Gorilla Spray Adhesive in her hair and ponytail
to keep the styling in place.

Following multiple unsuccessful attempts to wash out the glue, she had to go to
the emergency room where they too were unsuccessful at removing the adhesive.

That’s when President Joe Biden came to town to offer his support to the victim
of the racist glue.

Biden was unable to resist the urge to sniff the woman and was instantly and
permanently attached to her.

White House medical staff have tried everything they could think of to separate the
president from Brown without sawing his face off to no avail.

In a new video Brown repeatedly says, “My hair, it don’t move,” meaning that her
hair has remained hard and stuck to her scalp since she sprayed it with Gorilla glue.
“Now I got this creepy old white man stuck to my head. This is the worst.”

Brown has some advice for everyone following her story:

“Do NOT use Gorilla Glue for hairspray if you intend to visit the White House!”

4 Masks Work

Cuomo hires crack team to find the ‘real killer’
of NY nursing home COVID victims







(NEW YORK CITY)—

New York Governor Andrew Coumo has announced that he is taking responsibility
for the COVID deaths in his states’ nursing homes. He then clarified that to mean
he was taking responsibility to find the ‘real’ killer.

Deftly switching from two-finger to one-finger air quotes, Coumo stated,
“Yeah, like I said before, I don’t trust our current so-called ‘experts’ so I’ve hired
my own ‘real’ experts to find the ‘real’ killers responsible for all those deaths.” 

Although not mentioning the ‘real’ expert by name, most thought he looked familiar,
particularly the shit-eating grin, like he got away with something.

Coumo, pointing at the ‘real’ expert then said, “This guy has done nothing but look for
‘real’ killers for over 25 years.” To which the ‘real’ expert interjected, “mostly.”

Coumo: “And before that, he worked in Buffalo for years so he knows the area and the
kind of people I have to deal with every f***ing day, if you know what I mean.”

Asked why neither the governor nor the ‘real’ expert was wearing a mask, the ‘real’ expert,
wearing what appeared to be medical garb, held up his gloved hands saying, “Gloves are
the most important thing in fighting this disease. The key is getting gloves that shrink at
least two sizes after they get ‘wet’.  It’s ‘science’.”  Using one-finger air quotes for both
’wet’ and ‘science’.

Coumo then announced he even had a back-up plan. Calling from a payphone about two
blocks from where his office was parked, F. Lee Bailey confidently stated he could find the
‘real’ killer for just $3 million.

Bailey said, “And get you – I mean them, off for ‘only’ $10 million.
You know, like, Plan B.”

It wasn’t clear if the call ended, was cutoff, or Bailey ran out of quarters.
Coumo then said, ”Really, who cares?  Have you ever been to Buffalo?” 
He then stood up, pointing at the press gallery and shouted, “So f**k you!
And f**k your AG reports!” Storming off stage, he left the ‘real’ expert sitting
there, looking as though he was ready to sign autographs.