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Donald Trump is the first back-to-back
impeachment champion ever







(WASHINGTON, DC)—

There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now.

Donald Trump has defeated the Democrats in an impeachment trial for the second
consecutive year, making him the winningest president in US history.

“There has never been a president who’s won an impeachment trial twice, and there’s
certainly hasn’t been one to win twice in two years. It’s really unprecedented,” political
analyst Sam Eagle said.

Trump’s second impeachment win came after Democrat House Managers made several
unforced errors including faking evidence, making stuff up, and being complete hypocrites.

“It really was no contest. The Democrats were really out of their league,” Eagle said.
“It was like watching a little league baseball team take on the Yankees.”

Trump’s first win came last year after it was discovered that Adam Schiff’s daughter was
dating the whistleblower.

Trump is undefeated in impeachment trials.

BREAKING:
Trump fails to condemn violence
following impeachment acquittal!!





(CNN)
President Trump was acquitted in his second impeachment trial on Saturday,
but there was one thing notably missing – his failure to condemn violence
following the trial.

“This is the type of behavior we’ve come to expect from Trump,” CNN’s Brian Stelter said.
“Being a former president doesn’t absolve you from condemning violence every five seconds.
Every minute that goes by there’s an act of violence being committed on every country
on the planet, and Trump has an obligation condemn every single one of those acts or
else he’ll go down as one of the worst presidents in history.”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) expressed similar sentiments on Twitter.
She wrote in part, “This is absolutely unacceptable. I was almost killed by every single
act of violence on Earth, and it’s all thanks to Trump. Next time someone gets killed
in Zimbabwe, we’ll all know who to blame.”

To finally put this saga behind him, Trump released a pre-recorded video of himself
condemning violence every five seconds till eternity.



**********






BREAKING:
Thousands of immigrants heading to US
to become victims of systemic racism!!







(McALLEN, TX)—

A migrant caravan from Africa and Central America is heading for the United States to
become victims of the worst systemic racism in the world ever.

President-illegitimate Joe Biden has extended an official offer for immigrant people
of color to come to the bastion of white supremacy that is America.

“The United States invented racism and slavery. Everyone knows that,” Sallie Suckface from
Berkeley, CA said. “Yet they’re minorities risking everything they have to come to the
United States because minorities have it so bad here.”

Every day, thousands give up their safe space of their home country where they are
part of an ethnic majority to come to America so that they can be systematically persecuted
by white supremacists every day.

“People of color are horribly oppressed here—more than anywhere else in the world.
They’re only coming here because they feel so impassioned about our cause that they
want to stand shoulder to shoulder with all of these white privileged
Black Lives Matter protesters.”

“Refugees from Africa and Asia are making their way to the United States in record numbers,
obviously because they are gluttons for abuse. They want to be oppressed because they will
be completely marginalized in this country, duh,” Suckface said.

“They will give you food and shelter and health care and an education and you’ll probably get
a scholarship to attend an Ivy League school for free so that you can complain about how bad
you have it! It will be horrible. That’s how much they care about this cause,” Suckface added.

Happy Friday







I Wanna Know What Love Is








2 Time Winner







Would You Let Him Drive

Dems shocked to find their lives still suck
after Trump is no longer president!







(US)—

Many Democrats are flying high today after the culmination of more than
four years’ of bipartisan work to end the reign of President Donald Trump.

But some are coming back down to earth as they realize that despite the
fact that the cause of all evil is gone from public life and they have no
scapegoat to blame everything on, they are still hopeless losers.

“Wait, what?” said Foolmeé Wancz, a New York Democrat and avid Nancy Pelosi
fan, at an impeachment watch party. “I’m pretty sure that Trump was the reason
for all my problems, yet he’s gone and I still have problems. This doesn’t make sense.”

While racism seems to be completely gone, other problems like death, disease,
and just outright horrible people still exist.

Psychologists are calling this new condition Trump derangement syndrome withdrawal syndrome
(Tdsws) and is being considered for placement in the new psychological diagnostic and
statistical manual.

As a result more Democrats are now depressed since they have no one to blame for their
suck than themselves.

It’s Satire






Mask Safety Is Important

It’s Not Easy But I’m Doing Ok








We Landed On Mars

BREAKING:
Biden deports all Republicans to Cancún





(WASHINGTON, DC)—

In response to the Ted Cruz scandal plaguing the nation, President Biden signed an
executive order deporting all Republicans to Cancún, Mexico.

“After hearing that Ted Cruz left Texas in the middle of a state-wide emergency, I said to myself,
‘C’mon man!’,” Biden said. “How can you leave for vacation when your constituents are living without
electricity, water and other basic necessities – and above all, deny the obvious effects of climate change?

“These are the consequences of Republican governance in this country, and it has to stop. I’ve
therefore signed an executive order calling for the immediate deportation of all Republicans to Cancún, Mexico.
That’ll teach ’em a lesson.”

Sen. Ted Cruz was delighted by Biden’s announcement. “I’m glad I can finish my vacation,”
Cruz said. “Now I don’t have to make any excuses for why I left home in the middle of a major crisis, and
my daughters are off the hook.”


Asked whether he’ll ever attempt to return to the United States, the senator assured everyone
he’ll “circle back.”

The Wednesday Clip Show







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