IOPList.Org

John Kerry seen unloading private jet from transport jet
in route to Climate Conference







President Biden’s Climate Czar John Kerry was accused by critics of attempting to stage a
photo op on Saturday after a video emerged of him unloading a private jet from a jumbo
transport jet in an apparent botched environmentalist photo op.

The video captured workers removing the multi-millionaire’s smaller private jet for him
to travel the final leg of the journey en route to lecture plebs about climate change.

The Democrat was safely escorted to the Climate Summit by a privately hired team
of armed fighter jets.

The transport jet picked up the private jet after the summit.

Highlights of the conference include new taxes on only American citizens,
foreign aid paid via debt, and Chinese diplomats rolling on the floor in laughter.




*****


AOC slams long lines at McDonald’s as
‘diner suppression’






NEW YORK
—
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Socialist-NY) took to Twitter today accusing
McDonald’s of ‘diner suppression’ over long waiting lines at the fast-food chain.

“McDonald’s is engaged in outright diner suppression,” AOC tweeted.
“The long lines at McDonald’s are like Jim Crow on steroids. It hurts minorities
and women the most because they don’t necessarily have the patience to
wait on line for so long like white people do.
I hope McDonald’s reverses course on this.”

The MLB responded to AOC’s accusation by promising to move the All-Star Game
out of any state that has a McDonald’s in it, which turns out to be the entire country,
so they’re reportedly moving the game to China instead to please their communist overlords.

An MLB player whose shirt number is 43 reportedly told CNN that the MLB’s
accusations are just ‘theater’, accusing the professional sports organization of
‘spherical suppression’.

AOC also accused the nation’s DMV’s of ‘driver suppression’ for having the longest lines
in the country and requiring the racist notion of identification in order to identify yourself.




*****



IDs are racist except when they’re for
buying a gun, flying, driving, adopting a pet…








I don’t know what bigots need to hear this but IDs (ie identification cards)
are purely racist tools of CIS-gender-normative white supremacy except,
of course, when they’re for buying a gun.

They’re also not racist when you’re flying, driving, adopting a pet, or
especially not when you’re voting in an Amazon or Coca-Cola
shareholder meeting.


IDs are NOT racist when:




But an ID is absolutely 100% racist and bigoted when it’s required to vote.
If you deny this, I will have you canceled from Facebook, bigot!

This is science!

Hunting For Cracked Eggs

MLB changes name to Baseball League Matters
in response to protest






ATLANTA
—
Major League Baseball (MLB) has changed its name to Baseball League Matters (BLM)
in response to the protest of its protest of Georgia voting laws.

“We are excited to announce that we are changing our name from MLB to BLM in response
to people boycotting our league in response to us boycotting Georgia because they want fair elections,”
BLM Commissioner Robert Manfred said.

The BLM logo will also change colors from white to black.

Manfred recently announced that the then-named MLB will pull the All-Star Game from Atlanta
over the league’s objections to sweeping changes to Georgia voting laws. BLM will also be replacing
white baseballs with orange Trump bobblehead dolls.

“We require tickets to get into ballgames, but we believe there should be no tickets to voting
because Jim Crow or something,” Manfred said.

BREAKING:
Arkansas is first state to allow minors to
cut off their arms if they identify as a T-Rex






LITTLE ROCK, AR
–
Governor Asa Hutchinson on Monday signed legislation Monday that made Arkansas the
first state to allow minors to surgically replace their arms with reptilian forceps if the
child identifies as a T-Rex.

Hutchinson took the brave stance against anti-transspecies bigotry prevalent in the state.

“If a child of three years old thinks it’s a Tyrannosaurus Rex, then by golly,
it’s a Tyrannosaurus Rex,” Hutchinson said.

The Republican governor rejected legislation that would have prohibited doctors from
providing species-changing hormone treatment, puberty blockers or surgery to anyone
under 18 years old, or from referring them to other providers for the treatment.

The move comes just months after the then-presidential-candidate Joe Biden said that
he would endorse T-Rex transitions across the country.

“I will flat out just change the law, eliminate those executive orders,” Biden, the
Democratic presidential nominee, said. “There should be zero discrimination. I mean,
if we’re going to be real, the military should love a couple T-Rexes in the ranks!
If a 3-year-old thinks he’s T-Rex, we need to pump him up with hormones and
cut off his arms.”

Arkansas is the first state to allow it, thanks to Hutchinson’s veto.

BREAKING:
US military to accept people who identify as good soldiers
but are biologically no-skill fat slobs







WASHINGTON, DC
—
In a brave path forward under the Biden administration, the Pentagon is set to eliminate all
discrimination in the US military. Now people who are biologically no-skill fat slobs but who
identify as healthy, fit, and good soldiers will be able to serve without fear of being discharged.

The new rules will provide individuals who identify as good soldiers wider access to medical
care and assistance with physical and aroma therapy, defense officials told Genesius Times.

“We need to accept people for who they feel they are. That is the primary purpose of the
military now,” Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said in a press conference announcing the plan.
“If an no-talent, obese Teletubby feels like they are Captain America, then we have a moral
obligation to accept that they are Captain freakin America.”

The new department regulations allow trans-health people to enlist and serve openly in their
self-identified skill and health level, said the officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity to
discuss internal decisions not yet made public.

“The military is now a safe space for all people. Gone are the barbaric days of ensuring our
soldiers can do chin-ups. If someone thinks they identifies as someone who can do chin-ups,
then, in my book, they can,” Austin said.

The changes come after a two-month Pentagon review aimed at developing guidelines for
the new policy, which was announced by President Joe Biden just days after he took office in January.

Biden’s executive order overturned the Trump policy and immediately prohibited any service
member from being forced out of the military on the basis of being a no-skill fat slob.
Austin then gave the Pentagon two months to finalize the more detailed regulations that the
military services will follow

Biden:
‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…
Slavery is back on the table’







WASHINGTON, DC

President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that
“no constitutional amendment is absolute.”

Would-be slave owners were excited to hear of the new executive policy, which was focused
on stripping Americans of their Second Amendment right to bear arms but also cast doubt
on every amendment including the Thirteenth Amendment, which outlawed slavery.

When asked what part of “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for
crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or
any place subject to their jurisdiction” is problematic, Biden answered by mumbling something indistinct.

“No amendment, no amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” Biden said. “From the very beginning,
you could own slaves. From the very beginning that the Thirteenth Amendment existed, certain people
were allowed to have slaves.”

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has promised to circle back on the details of the new Biden executive
order legalizing slavery now that no constitutional amendment is absolute.