IOPList.Org

The Bidens went out to a restaurant.
The waiter serving them asked Jill Biden for her order first.

"To start, I'll have the french onion soup.
Then the prime rib, medium-rare, with a baked potato,
with butter and sour cream."

"Excellent, Doctor.
What about the vegetable?"

"Oh, he'll have the same thing."



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Chuck Norris has the cure for covid!

Chuck Norris was willing to donate his blood to cure COVID,
but the world hasn’t made a needle sharp enough to break his skin.



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Alcohol is never the answer
“Alcohol?” is the question.
“Yes” is the answer



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How do you turn a duck into soul singer?
Boil it in water until it's Bill Withers.




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Army balls

This guy with three balls joins the army,
but he's to embarrassed to shower with everyone
so he always waits until everyone is done and
then jumps into the shower at the last second.

Everything is going great until a new recruitment is
also lurking in the corner waiting till everyone leaves.

Three balls has to take a shower.

He figures its only one dude and after wracking his brain
comes up with a gentle way to tell him

Three balls says,
"Between you and me we have five balls"!

Newbie,
"What the hell!
You only have one?"

It was the first day of school and a new Indian student named
Chandra Subramanian entered the 5th grade.

The teacher said,
"Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandra,
who had his hand up:

Chandra said,
"Patrick Henry, 1775."

The teacher said,
"Very good!"

Who said 

'Government of the People, by the People, 

for the People,
shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandra:
He said,
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class,
"Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandra, who is new to our country,
knows more about our history than you do!"

She heard a loud stage whisper:
"F*ck the Indians."

"Who said that?"
,she demanded.

But Chandra put his hand up.
"General Custer, 1862!"

At that point,
a student in the back said,
"I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks,
"All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandra says,
"George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells,
"What a stupid son of a bltch!"

Chandra jumps out of his chair waving his hand
and shouts to the teacher,
"Joe Biden to Peter Doocy, 2022."